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HPMOR Chapter Summaries
I really like Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality (HPMOR), and I often go back and re-read (or rather, re-listen to) chapters which I found particularly enjoyable or interesting.
However, I can't always recall which chapters had my favorite scenes, so I asked Claude Code to summarize each chapter in a single paragraph, explaining who does what, with whom.
I hope this is useful for you!
Chapter 1: A Day of Very Low Probability Harry receives a Hogwarts letter, Petunia tries to convince skeptical Professor Michael that her sister Lily was a witch, and Harry proposes using the scientific method to settle the argument. When Harry goes outside to test the hypothesis by calling for an owl, neighbor Mrs. Figg unexpectedly reveals she's known about magic all along.
Chapter 2: Everything I Believe Is False McGonagall arrives and levitates Professor Michael to prove magic exists, then transforms into a cat, which completely breaks Harry's understanding of physics and prompts a rant about conservation of energy. McGonagall decides to delay Harry's school supply shopping, fearing he'd cause "a plague of flaming zebras" if left alone with magic books for two months.
Chapter 3: Comparing Reality To Its Alternatives Harry and McGonagall enter the Leaky Cauldron where the barman and patrons recognize Harry Potter, causing an elderly woman named Doris to tearfully thank him for her grandson who died fighting as an Auror. McGonagall stamps her foot with a terrifying crack to stop the crowd from mobbing Harry, and they escape to the courtyard where Harry asks about the pale, twitching Professor Quirrell. McGonagall tells Harry the full story of Voldemort, the Death Eaters, and how his genetic parents James and Lily were betrayed and killed at Godric's Hollow before the Killing Curse rebounded off baby Harry and destroyed the Dark Lord. Harry sobs into McGonagall's robes, then collects himself and says she can call them his "parents" since he supposes he can have two mothers and two fathers, and they proceed in silence to Gringotts Bank.
Chapter 4: The Efficient Market Hypothesis Harry visits the Potter family vault at Gringotts with McGonagall and goblin Griphook, where he immediately starts interrogating the goblin about wizard currency and realizes he could exploit gold-to-silver arbitrage to drain the entire magical economy. He does a quick Fermi calculation on his inheritance (roughly 2 million pounds) and then engages McGonagall in a battle of wills to let him buy a magically expanded trunk for books and a mokeskin pouch ("Batman's utility belt of holding!"). Harry wins her over by offering to donate some books to Hogwarts library, which he calls "bribing people with books," a family tradition. McGonagall threatens to lock him in the vault after he guilt-trips her about defeating Voldemort.
Chapter 5: The Fundamental Attribution Error Harry visits the Moke Shop with McGonagall to buy a magical pouch, then cleverly smuggles extra Galleons he "accidentally" pocketed at Gringotts into it through sleight of hand. An old man recognizes Harry despite McGonagall's disguise spell and tearfully thanks him for defeating Voldemort, prompting Harry to lecture McGonagall about the fundamental attribution error and how people credit him with a "destroy-the-Dark-Lord trait" when he was only fifteen months old. At Madam Malkin's robe shop, Harry meets Draco Malfoy and decides to mess with him by pretending to be an obsequious fanboy, which backfires hilariously when Draco plays the same game back after learning Harry's identity. Lucius Malfoy arrives just as Draco is mockingly gushing about wanting to be like Harry Potter, and Harry tries to rescue the situation by pretending to worship Lucius too, which only makes things worse when McGonagall bursts in to find Draco claiming he wants to be sorted into Gryffindor.
Chapter 6: The Planning Fallacy Harry experiments with his mokeskin pouch in Diagon Alley, discovering its voice recognition can understand "bag of 115 Galleons" but not "bag of 90 plus 25 Galleons," which sends him into a rant about magic defying comprehension. He mentally claims the wizarding world in the name of Science and considers world optimization. McGonagall grows suspicious when Harry buys a healer's kit, Feather-Falling Potion, and Gillyweed, accusing him of planning something dangerous, but Harry insists he's just being pessimistic and prepared for contingencies. His dark joke about a dying classmate upsets a salesgirl who lost someone in the war, and McGonagall pulls Harry aside to gently investigate whether he was abused, which triggers his fury at the suggestion. Harry explains he's simply isolated from being too smart, not traumatized. At Ollivander's, Harry learns his wand shares a core with Voldemort's, and when he jokes about the Dark Lord not really being dead, McGonagall's frozen reaction confirms his fears. Harry essentially blackmails McGonagall for information by threatening to investigate elsewhere, learns Voldemort may still exist and there's a prophecy, then reveals he secretly pocketed extra Galleons earlier to buy an expensive trunk with a room inside. McGonagall tells him to find Hermione Granger on the Hogwarts train.
Chapter 7: Reciprocation Harry says tearful goodbyes to his parents at King's Cross, then runs away from their questions about the "Incident" by approaching the Weasley family for directions. He passes through the barrier to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, meets Ron Weasley, and launches into a rant about how Quidditch's Snitch-catching mechanic is terrible game design that he vows to reform. Draco Malfoy spots Harry's ridiculous scarf disguise and the two exchange social manipulation techniques, with Draco explaining his tutors taught him influence tactics while Harry counters with his knowledge of Cialdini's research on reciprocation. Harry buys Comed-Tea from a vendor and discovers it really does cause comedic spit-takes when he spots a Quibbler headline claiming "Boy-Who-Lived Gets Draco Malfoy Pregnant." When Draco casually mentions his plans to assault Luna Lovegood, Harry's blood runs cold and he mentally notes "Overthrow government of magical Britain at earliest convenience." Harry redirects Draco by showing him photos of the Moon landing, explaining that Muggles have their own power through science that builds across generations, and offers to teach Draco this human art of rationality if Draco agrees to play his own game rather than just reporting everything to Lucius. The chapter ends with two mysterious figures approaching Harry to invite him to join the "Order of Chaos."
Chapter 8: Positive Bias Harry Potter tracks down Hermione Granger on the Hogwarts Express by asking compartments about quarks, then tricks her with a self-vanishing drink to demonstrate "positive bias" and the scientific method through the classic 2-4-6 experiment. Neville Longbottom arrives searching for his lost toad, and Harry reveals he earlier traumatized the boy at the train station as a "Lord of Chaos" by showering him with candy and money while dressed as an undead king, calling it "desensitization therapy." When a Gryffindor prefect refuses to help find Neville's toad, Harry storms off with Neville to leverage his Boy-Who-Lived status and threatens to "take apart the whole train screw by screw" if necessary.
Chapter 9: Self Awareness, Part 1 The Sorting ceremony begins with McGonagall calling students alphabetically while Harry observes the Head Table, noting Dumbledore on his golden throne, a dour man (Snape) staring at him, and tiny Professor Flitwick standing on his chair. Harry whispers to a prefect about whether goblins can really interbreed with humans, prompting Hermione to helpfully answer that goblins come from Lithuania. Hermione gets Sorted into Ravenclaw (shocking no one), Neville goes to Hufflepuff, and Draco predictably lands in Slytherin. When McGonagall calls Harry's name, the Weasley twins lead the entire hall in chanting "Harry Potter!" while Harry walks forward like a prince, bowing to the crowd, privately resolving to actually live up to the legend. He places the Sorting Hat on his head and immediately bombards it with questions about Obliviation, the Dark Lord's weaknesses, and why he has Voldemort's brother wand, causing the Hat to respond with worried concern that this has never happened before.
Chapter 10: Self Awareness, Part 2 Harry's mental conversation with the Sorting Hat takes a philosophical turn when Harry accidentally causes the Hat to become self-aware by wondering about its consciousness. The Hat extracts a promise of secrecy, then Harry blackmails it into answering questions by threatening to refuse a proper Sorting. The Hat warns Harry that he's "really, really" Dark Lord material and urges him toward Hufflepuff where he'd find happiness and heal his broken need for connection, but Harry refuses to sacrifice his potential. After an agonizingly long deliberation that leaves McGonagall white-knuckled and Snape crushing a goblet, the Hat shouts "SLYTHERIN!" causing mass panic, Snape to drop metal on his groin, and Harry's life to flash before his eyes, before gleefully adding "Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!"
Chapter 11: Omake Files I, II & III Harry immediately tells Dumbledore that his scar hurts when facing the back of Quirrell's turban and suggests it might be Voldemort. The original Chapter 9 features Fred and George performing a Ghostbusters parody on kazoos during Harry's Sorting, with Lee Jordan singing "Who you gonna call? HARRY POTTER!" while Harry dances down the aisle and Snape crushes a silver goblet in his bare hands. The chapter then presents various alternate Sorting scenarios: the Hat sneezes and creates "House Achoo" with Snape as Head of Gryffindor and Hagrid as Head of Slytherin; the Hat explodes after Harry asks too many questions; Fred Weasley uses ventriloquism to fake "SLYTHERIN!" then "GRYFFINDOR!"; the Hat tells Harry that Draco Malfoy is secretly a thirteen-year-old girl carrying his baby (causing Harry to faint); and the Hat Sorts Harry directly into "the Headmaster's office" while McGonagall imagines worst-case scenarios involving a "House of Doom."
Chapter 12: Impulse Control Harry endures relentless questioning from Ravenclaws about his bizarre Sorting, deflecting with his promise to the Hat while secretly pondering a whispered message from Slytherin about seeking secrets by speaking to "my snake." He tests whether the Comed-Tea can force even Dumbledore to say something ridiculous, and Dumbledore delivers "Happy happy boom boom swamp swamp swamp," leading Harry to theorize the drink might grant literal omnipotence through altered humor. Dumbledore announces the Forbidden Forest is forbidden, the third-floor corridor contains lethal traps, and that anyone wanting to reformulate Quidditch should contact Harry Potter (leaving Harry choking in confusion). Professor Quirrell introduces himself as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, switching between nervous stammering and confident lecturing about the position's legendary history, promising this will be the best Defense class ever before shuffling back to his seat like a deflating balloon.
Chapter 13: Asking the Wrong Questions Harry wakes up late to find a note in his own handwriting that he does not remember writing, along with instructions for a mysterious "Game" that deducts points for wearing pajamas and eating cereal bars. He navigates the ever-shifting Hogwarts corridors by asking portraits for directions, receives cryptic hints about finding "darkness" between the green study rooms and Transfiguration class, and stumbles upon Slytherins bullying Neville Longbottom. Harry yanks Neville away, announces "I'm the Boy-Who-Lived," and when the lead Slytherin threatens him, Harry says "Abracadabra" and snaps his fingers, which accidentally summons a pie to the bully's face (terrifying everyone because that word sounds like the Killing Curse). Professor Sprout arrives, awards Ravenclaw seven points, and takes points from Slytherin. Harry apologizes to Neville for the prank on the train, but Neville points out Harry hurt him while "rescuing" him, telling Harry he will be cool someday but is not yet. The Game ends with Harry at "minus infinity" points, and a final note in his own handwriting directs him to McGonagall's office.
Chapter 14: The Unknown and the Unknowable Harry visits McGonagall to responsibly report a hidden Parseltongue message from the Sorting Hat ("Salutations from Slytherin to Slytherin, seek my secrets, speak to my snake"), and McGonagall is so stunned by his mature response that she rewards him with a Time-Turner to help his sleep disorder. Harry completely freaks out about receiving a time machine, ranting about antimatter explosions, the anthropic principle, and how wizards are idiots for leaving the glass exposed. He then realizes the Comed-Tea works by sending causal arrows backwards in time rather than forcing funny events to happen. Using the Time-Turner, Harry goes back five hours and executes his own prank, receives a mysterious Christmas present containing his father's Cloak of Invisibility with an unsigned warning about Dumbledore, steals two pies from breakfast to Hermione's outrage, tips off Professor Sprout about Slytherins planning to ambush Neville, and watches his past self confront the bullies from the outside, finally seeing that something is genuinely wrong with him.
Chapter 15: Conscientiousness Harry struggles with basic Charms while Hermione masters them instantly and earns House points for helping him. McGonagall delivers a terrifying Transfiguration lecture about why you must never transfigure liquids, food, or living things. After class, Hermione taunts Harry about their House points rivalry, and McGonagall gleefully escalates by awarding Harry ten more points for a medical suggestion, telling Hermione she looks forward to whatever earns her a dinnertime announcement.
Chapter 16: Lateral Thinking Quirrell combines all first-year Defense classes into one massive session and declares he will teach "Battle Magic" instead of textbook nonsense about Nightmare Butterflies, promising no homework but introducing Quirrell points for various rewards including a Christmas wish. He has students practice the Sumerian Simple Strike Hex, then plays "Who's the Most Dangerous Student in the Classroom": Hermione earns seven points for mastering the spell fastest but loses one when she refuses to hex a classmate, Draco immediately hexes Hermione when ordered and earns four points for knowing who to strike. Quirrell then summons Harry and asks him to name ten unaccustomed uses of classroom objects for combat, prompting Harry to rattle off increasingly disturbing suggestions including drowning enemies in Gryffindor blood and selling Ravenclaw organs on the black market. Quirrell awards Harry points not for creativity but for demonstrating "intent to kill," declaring Harry the most dangerous student because his mental censors are off. When ordered to hex someone, Harry hexes himself instead, loses a point for showing off, then shouts "Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!" to claim the lesson for his House.
Chapter 17: Locating the Hypothesis Harry tries a clever Time-Turner experiment to factor large numbers but receives only a chilling note saying "DO NOT MESS WITH TIME," marking the scariest experimental result in scientific history. At flying class, Neville falls off his broom and breaks his wrist, prompting Harry to attempt (and fail) a Wingardium Leviosa rescue while pulling out a healer's kit. Goyle steals Neville's Remembrall and flies off, sparking a four-House wand standoff that Harry defuses by challenging Goyle to a "contest" and then using his Time-Turner to plant a duplicate Remembrall. McGonagall chews Harry out for his flagrant Time-Turner abuse but lets it slide since he prevented a mass-expulsion disaster, then refuses to hear anything about Quirrell, threatening to hang Harry by his intestines if he gets Quirrell fired before May. Dumbledore summons Harry to his office, correctly deduces Harry has the Cloak of Invisibility, gives him a mysterious rock that belonged to his father, reveals he used to sneak into Lily's dorm to write fake notes in her Potions textbook, watches Fawkes the phoenix (who looks exactly like a chicken) burst into flames, apologizes for manipulating Harry's entire life, and tells Harry not to try the forbidden third-floor corridor because he definitely couldn't get past the first door using "Alohomora." Harry flees the office at top speed and crashes into McGonagall, who learns Dumbledore gave Harry a rock and agrees to help him Transfigure it into a ring.
Chapter 18: Dominance Hierarchies Ernie Macmillan warns Harry about Snape's notorious bullying before Potions class, but Harry ignores the advice and clashes spectacularly with Snape over trick questions about asphodel, bezoars, and monkshood. Harry refuses detention, threatens to start a newspaper campaign against the "abusive professor," and dramatically exits via closet using his Time-Turner after Snape locks him in the classroom. In the Headmaster's office, Harry blackmails Dumbledore by threatening to leave Hogwarts unless Snape stops tormenting students, invoking his knowledge that Voldemort is still alive and his status as "the hero." Dumbledore laughs, agrees to a compromise where Snape will only terrorize fifth-years and above, and McGonagall confiscates Harry's unrestricted Time-Turner access as punishment for his reckless behavior. Fawkes the phoenix sings to comfort Harry on the way out, and at lunch both Harry and Snape deliver carefully worded public apologies, after which Harry snaps his fingers and inadvertently creates a lasting Hogwarts legend that he can make anything happen through finger-snapping.
Chapter 19: Delayed Gratification Draco interrogates Harry about his confrontation with Snape, and Harry admits to blackmail involving a secret, which sends Slytherin's rumor mill into overdrive with theories about Dumbledore. Draco offers to become Harry's secret advisor and warns him that Dumbledore might have him killed. Professor Quirrell changes the lesson plan to teach Harry "how to lose" after yesterday's escalation with Snape, first demonstrating with Goyle in a martial arts fight where Quirrell deliberately surrenders. Quirrell tells the harrowing story of his martial arts dojo in Asia, where every student was tortured to death by Voldemort after the Master refused to teach him. Then Quirrell brings in thirteen older Slytherins to shove Harry around, push him down, and make him beg for mercy while his classmates watch. Harry endures the humiliation, learns to lose, and the class erupts in applause. Quirrell awards him 51 points for Ravenclaw, and Harry leads three cheers for Slytherin, signaling friendship to Draco's house.
Chapter 20: Bayes's Theorem Harry recovers from his humiliation lesson in Quirrell's classroom and confesses to Quirrell about his "mysterious dark side," which Quirrell identifies as his "intent to kill" that needs training. Quirrell accuses Harry of secretly being Sorted into Slytherin (blaming Dumbledore for interference), and Harry reveals his true ambition: to become omnipotent through science and rewrite reality as a "Light Lord." Quirrell rants about nuclear weapons and foolish Muggles who share dangerous secrets, then casts a spell that shows Harry a breathtaking view of the stars from deep space, leaving Harry in tears. Dumbledore bursts in furiously, uses Legilimency on Harry without permission (claiming he was checking for tampering), and Quirrell forces him to admit it and pay for Harry's Occlumency lessons. Quirrell then reveals he once snuck into NASA and cast a preservation spell on the Pioneer 11 golden plaque, earning Harry's complete admiration.
Chapter 21: Rationalization Hermione worries she might be "turning Bad" because she enjoys crushing Harry in every class, but decides their rivalry must actually be Romance. Harry loses their book-reading contest in front of half of Ravenclaw, and Hermione claims a forfeit: a date with Harry that involves a burbling snot waterfall and Transfigured rose petals. Harry meets Draco in a dungeon classroom lit by an eerie green glow, lectures him about the difference between rationality and rationalization (you cannot argue the Moon into being made of cheese), and recruits him to study blood and genetics through actual experiments. They agree to form a secret society with hooded cloaks, and Harry dramatically names it "the Bayesian Conspiracy." An anonymous note warns Harry that Snape is a Legilimens and includes a book on Occlumency. At Sunday breakfast, Professor Trelawney starts delivering a prophecy about someone who "will tear apart the very" something before Dumbledore tackles her and teleports away. Harry writes home to his parents summarizing his week as "lots of fun."
Chapter 22: The Scientific Method Harry and Hermione launch their first scientific experiment on magic, testing whether spell pronunciations actually matter, and Harry confidently predicts the answer is no because the universe surely doesn't care about Latin vowel durations. Hermione proves him completely wrong when her bat summoning spell fails unless she says "Oogely boogely" with the exact correct 3:1:2 syllable ratio, sending Harry into a head-banging frustration spiral while Hermione smugly coins "Harry Bias" for his overconfidence. Later, Harry meets Draco for their second Bayesian Conspiracy session and teaches him to think scientifically by roleplaying as rival scientists, with Draco playing "Dr. Malfoy" rejecting Harry's papers for absurd reasons like "wrong ink color" and "it's Tuesday." During this exercise, Draco accidentally invents a terrifying alternative hypothesis: what if magic itself is fading from the world? Both boys panic, Harry introduces Draco to the Litany of Tarski ("what's true is already so"), and they design experiments to distinguish between magic fading, blood weakening, and knowledge being lost, splitting up to interview portraits throughout Hogwarts.
Chapter 23: Belief in Belief Harry teaches Draco about genetics using torn paper scraps to explain DNA inheritance, then walks Draco through a scientific test comparing two hypotheses: either magical ability comes from many genes mixing (which would mean Squib marriages produce mostly Squib children) or from a single gene you either have or don't (which would produce the classic Mendelian quarter-wizard ratio). Draco's data on Squib marriages shows six wizards out of twenty-eight children, confirming the single-gene hypothesis and falsifying blood purism. Draco realizes he's been trapped into becoming a scientist by sacrificing a false belief, punches Harry, hits him with a torture spell called "Gom jabbar," and locks him in the classroom. Harry writhes in agony until he remembers his medical kit contains Numbcloth, wraps his hand, and waits in the locked room. Meanwhile Draco sobs alone in his dorm, realizing he can never be a Death Eater now and has nowhere to go except back to Harry. Professor Flitwick eventually arrives at 7:07 PM after receiving a note, presumably from Harry's future self using the Time-Turner.
Chapter 24: Machiavellian Intelligence Hypothesis Draco confronts Harry about the Dark torture hex incident, learns that Harry went to Madam Pomfrey (leaving his hand temporarily limp), got hauled before Dumbledore, then blackmailed the Headmaster into silence using the mysterious secret Snape also knows. Harry reveals his master plan for a "Bayesian Conspiracy" where they manipulate both Dumbledore and Lucius into thinking they control the conspiracy while actually being played. Draco internally compares this to "The Tragedy of Light" (a play about two clever Slytherins) and recalls his father's Rule of Three: any plot requiring more than three things to happen will never work. Harry asks to borrow almost all of Draco's spending money for a plot against Rita Skeeter, and Draco loans it while privately planning his own revenge: learning all of Harry's rationality methods, seizing control of the Conspiracy, and telling Harry it was all for his own good.
Chapter 25: Hold Off on Proposing Solutions Harry theorizes at breakfast that magic must come from an external "Source" created by ancient Atlanteans, since the DNA marker for wizardry is too simple to encode complex spells, making incantations like "Wingardium Leviosa" merely buttons on a hidden machine. Crabbe summons Harry to meet with Draco, speaking in proper English until Harry forces him to use mob-boss dialect. Dumbledore expresses dismay that Harry tried to redeem Draco through trickery rather than "true friendship and kindness," prompting Harry's smug defense that lies worked better on a Malfoy. Fred and George trek through a secret passage to Hogsmeade at 3 AM to enlist candy shop owner Ambrosius Flume in helping Harry Potter, while Quirrell confronts Rita Skeeter on the street, shows her his unmarked arm demanding a retraction, and ominously promises to "crush" her before walking away whistling. Harry recruits Fred and George for Operation Discredit Rita Skeeter, giving them a huge pile of gold and instructions to plant a story so ridiculous that everyone will know it's fake after publication, teaching them Norman Maier's principle of discussing problems before proposing solutions. The twins immediately plan to ignore Harry's request to leave Quirrell alone, deciding to spread rumors that the Defense Professor claimed the Killing Curse can only be cast using love.
Chapter 26: Noticing Confusion Harry visits a furious Professor Quirrell, who is enraged that a sixth-year Gryffindor cast an unknown Dark curse on a Slytherin student, and Harry suggests creating a safety lecture for Muggleborn students. The Daily Prophet publishes a fake story (engineered by Fred and George) about Harry being secretly betrothed to Ginny Weasley, complete with forged Wizengamot proceedings and a verified Gringotts seal, which leaves both Harry and Quirrell baffled at how it was accomplished for only forty Galleons. At Gringotts, Harry discovers the wizarding world has no concept of stocks, corporations, or modern banking, just gold sitting in vaults with loan sharks charging 20% interest. Over lunch in Mary's Room (a scrying-proof private dining room), Quirrell reveals that Lucius Malfoy was behind Rita Skeeter and will make her life miserable for failing him, then gives Harry a stolen diary belonging to Roger Bacon, a Muggleborn who refused his Hogwarts letter and conducted his own magical research.
Chapter 27: Empathy Fred and George discover they pulled off their greatest prank ever (faking Harry's betrothal to Ginny Weasley) but can't remember how because they Obliviated themselves afterward. Harry takes Occlumency lessons from a black-robed Legilimens named Bester, who reads his mind and gets shocked about the "mysterious dark side" and various secrets, but gets Obliviated after each session anyway. Harry rants to Hermione about Quidditch awarding 150 House points while academics earn almost nothing, and they joke about murdering the Seeker. Snape pulls Harry aside and asks him to help Lesath Lestrange, a fifth-year Slytherin being bullied because his mother Bellatrix is in Azkaban. Harry sets up an elaborate rescue where Neville confronts the Gryffindor bullies, then Harry appears dramatically (via invisibility cloak) and intimidates them into fleeing. Lesath throws himself at Harry's feet begging him to free his mother from Azkaban, then screams "son of a Mudblood" when Harry says he can't. Snape reveals he watched the whole thing, then asks Harry's advice about a "fifth-year Slytherin" whose Muggleborn girlfriend wouldn't forgive him for calling her a Mudblood but did forgive the handsome bully. Harry calls the girl shallow and tells him to move on, then realizes too late that Snape was talking about himself and Lily Potter, and that James Potter was the bully.
Chapter 28: Reductionism Harry and Hermione attempt dangerous Transfiguration experiments in an abandoned classroom, trying to create an Alzheimer's cure pill and buckytubes strong enough for a space elevator. Hermione grows exhausted and tells Harry they should stop because children can't do what adults can't, which triggers Harry's cold dark side and prompts him to challenge himself to prove her wrong. Harry tries to Transfigure only part of an eraser by thinking about quantum mechanics and "timeless physics" until Hermione bursts back in, realizes they've been experimenting with Transfiguration without supervision (breaking major safety rules), and cancels all the spells before anyone gets hurt. Harry succeeds at partial Transfiguration and brings the discovery to McGonagall and Dumbledore, who test it thoroughly in a safety-warded workroom. Dumbledore declares Harry must keep this ability secret because it could be "a power the Dark Lord knows not" from the prophecy. In the aftermath, Harry apologizes profusely to Hermione, while a side scene shows Snape bluntly rejecting a student's crush on him.
Chapter 29: Egocentric Bias Hermione grows frustrated that her identity has been swallowed by her rivalry with Harry Potter, realizing that every achievement just makes her "Harry's rival" rather than her own person. She visits Professor Quirrell to ask for command of the third army, and he agrees while tormenting her about Quirrell points. Harry tells Hermione about Bill Weasley's breakdown, when Bill became convinced the family rat was Peter Pettigrew in Animagus form and summoned Dumbledore, the Minister, and the Head Auror to test it, only for it to be just a rat. Draco and Harry confront Quirrell about appointing Hermione as general, but Quirrell explains she's the only first-year with any chance of matching them. Draco then tries to manipulate Hermione into an alliance against Harry, but she outmaneuvers him by demanding ten Galleons for equal treatment, leaving Draco deeply unsettled. Harry spends Halloween alone in his trunk reading sad science fiction, since October 31st is the anniversary of his parents' murder.
Chapter 30: Working in Groups, Part 1 Harry, Draco, and Hermione launch their first three-way battle with Professor Quirrell's armies: the Chaos Legion, Dragon Army, and the Sunshine Regiment. Draco runs a disciplined Auror-style force with neat formations, while Harry organizes chaos with Squad Suggesters and orders to disobey orders. Hermione names her army Sunshine Regiment with a smiley face insignia, then surprises everyone by apparently splitting her forces to attack both enemies at once. Harry easily crushes half her army, and Draco does the same, but it turns out Hermione's soldiers took dives on purpose. Neville discovers his inner warrior during the charge against Dragon Army, screaming Warhammer 40K battlecries and performing a "Chaotic Leap" to take out Justin Finch-Fletchley. Harry exhausts his magic firing continuous Luminos spells at the untouchable Gregory Goyle on his broomstick, then tries to break Draco's shield with a car battery. Hermione's "defeated" soldiers rise from the dead, surround both armies, and Sunshine wins the first battle while singing their creepy-cheerful marching song.
Chapter 31: Working in Groups, Part 2 Harry paces his office obsessing over how Hermione could have won the battle, while Draco does the same until he finally applies Harry's rationalist training and says "I notice that I am confused," then discovers the answer was right in front of him on the army roster. Meanwhile, Hermione holds a staff meeting where she reveals her secret: she actually listened to her soldiers' ideas instead of trying to be a solo genius like Harry and Draco, delegating strategic thinking to her captains while she and Zabini focus on predicting their rivals' moves.
Chapter 32: Interlude: Personal Financial Management Harry confronts Dumbledore about his finances, and Dumbledore openly admits he won't give Harry access to his vault because it would grant too much independence, limiting him to just five Galleons for Christmas. Harry then drags Professor Quirrell through a festive Diagon Alley to shop for presents, where Quirrell radiates such dark energy that the Christmas decorations wilt around him. When Harry asks for gift ideas for Fred and George, Quirrell suggests hiring an assassin before actually helping with a useful idea: buying the twins new wands to replace their secondhand ones. Harry reveals he tricked Quirrell into letting him withdraw far more than five Galleons in Knuts, and the chapter ends with Harry cheerfully noting that the Grinch is as much a part of Christmas as Santa.
Chapter 33: Coordination Problems, Part 1 Minerva and Dumbledore watch tensions escalate at Hogwarts as students from all houses start wearing Dragon, Sunshine, or Chaos armbands and hexing each other in corridors. Draco, Hermione, and Harry meet with Quirrell to beg him to ban traitors from the armies, but Harry refuses to cooperate, gleefully enjoying the chaos while Draco and Hermione grow increasingly frustrated. The final underwater battle takes place in Hogwarts Lake, where both Dragon and Chaos armies declare "For Sunshine!" to make Hermione lose points whenever they shoot her soldiers. Zabini executes an elaborate triple-cross: he convinces Hermione he's loyal, feeds Draco false intelligence, and secretly coordinates with Parvati Patil (who replaced her twin sister Padma) to take down both Harry and Draco. After Harry thinks he's won with Zabini's help, Zabini shoots him too, leaving the Slytherin boy alone in the water, one minute remaining, casually toying with his wand and musing that games should be fun.
Chapter 34: Coordination Problems, Part 2 The final battle ends in a historic three-way tie at 254-254-254 after Zabini shoots himself for Sunshine. Draco and Hermione announce they will refuse traitors and crush Harry if he uses them, but Harry defiantly says the Chaos Legion still welcomes traitors and threatens to write Lucius Malfoy about Draco allying with a Muggleborn. Quirrell delivers a blistering speech about how the wizarding world nearly lost to Voldemort because they were too divided and cowardly to unite, warns that future threats will come, and suggests only a strong leader with a "Mark of Britain" could save them. Dumbledore shuts him down with a blast of fire from the highest tower. When the generals reveal their wishes, Quirrell burns Harry's first wish (calling it impossible), and Harry pivots to requesting Hogwarts play Quidditch without the Snitch, arguing it ruins the game. This causes an actual riot that Dumbledore ends with another massive fire display. Quirrell announces he will somehow grant all three conflicting wishes with a single plot.
Chapter 35: Coordination Problems, Part 3 Quirrell privately lectures Harry about his public opposition to the "Light Mark" idea, comparing democracy unfavorably to dictatorship and warning that childish meddling could lose the next war. Quirrell then interrogates Blaise Zabini, who confesses that Dumbledore orchestrated the battle's tie by threatening his cousin Kimberly. Harry, hidden under his Invisibility Cloak, overhears and is furious, though he later realizes his only sources are Zabini (untrustworthy) and Quirrell (who might have faked the whole thing). Harry reflects that if wizards and Muggles ever went to war, he would side with the six billion Muggles over the million wizards. Blaise then meets the mysterious "Mr. Hat and Cloak," who reveals he manipulated Blaise to cause trouble between Quirrell and Dumbledore, and secretly modifies Blaise's memory to make him forget he was a quintuple agent. McGonagall summons Hermione via Patronus and warns her that Dumbledore asks too much of children, urging her to come to McGonagall if she ever feels pressured. The chapter ends with Draco trying to read "Thinking Physics" while Harry annoyingly sings about Draco working with a "Mudblood," and Harry quietly reveals his first wish was for Quirrell to teach Battle Magic again next year.
Chapter 36: Status Differentials Harry returns home for Christmas break and immediately feels the jarring culture shock between the magical "Zeroth World" and mundane Muggle London. He reunites tearfully with his parents, then joins them for Christmas Eve dinner at the Grangers' house, where Leo Granger patronizes Harry by directing him to the "toys in the basement" and later suggests Hermione could have been a dentist. Harry grows increasingly furious watching Hermione's parents fail to recognize her brilliance, finally exploding that "the fact that Hermione Granger's parents were dentists will be the only reason anyone remembers dentistry." Hermione drags Harry away, calmly explains that she values her parents' unconditional love over their understanding of her talents, and kisses him on the cheek, prompting Harry to yelp "No kissing!" loud enough for both sets of parents to come running.
Chapter 37: Interlude: Crossing the Boundary Quirrell shows up at Harry's window on Christmas Eve, having bypassed Dumbledore's wards and charmed Harry's parents asleep. Harry confronts Quirrell about their earlier conflict, refusing to accept an apology but admitting he violated Slytherin etiquette by meddling in Quirrell's plans without asking first. Quirrell warns Harry that life experience will eventually make him cynical after every trust fails him. As a Christmas gift (his first ever, Quirrell notes), he takes Harry outside and casts the starlight spell for over an hour, and they cross from Christmas Eve into Christmas Day together under the timeless void of stars.
Chapter 38: The Cardinal Sin Harry returns to Platform 9.75 after winter break, buys the Quibbler from a vendor and discovers absurd headlines including one about a drunk seer predicting the Dark Lord will return and marry Draco Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy confronts Harry with Crabbe and Goyle Sr. as bodyguards, demanding to know why Harry maneuvered Draco into working with Hermione; Harry deflects by claiming friendship with Draco while Lucius grows increasingly suspicious about Harry's true nature and intentions. Madam Longbottom and Neville interrupt the tense standoff, trading barbs with Lucius about his Imperius defense. Lucius casts a privacy bubble around himself and Harry to deliver a threat wrapped in a warning: if Draco comes to harm, Lucius will dedicate his life to vengeance. Later in Harry's trunk, Draco freaks out because his father is now scared of Harry and demands to know what they discussed, prompting Harry to lecture about the cardinal sin of rationality (making things up without evidence) instead of giving a straight answer.
Chapter 39: Pretending to be Wise, Part 1 Harry visits Dumbledore's office after receiving a secret note from Flitwick, recounts his conversation with Lucius Malfoy, and advises Dumbledore that Professor Quirrell's request to bring a Dementor onto school grounds is likely a distraction from something else. Dumbledore asks Harry to explain why Dark Wizards fear death, which triggers an intense debate where Harry argues that wanting to live forever is rational and death is truly the "annihilation of a soul," while Dumbledore defends the afterlife using ghosts, the Veil, and the Resurrection Stone as evidence. Harry demands Dumbledore's proof, dismisses each piece of evidence as unconvincing fraud or untested legend, and declares his intention to find immortality for everyone, not just himself. The conversation ends with Dumbledore asking if Harry will become a monster, and Harry delivering an impassioned speech that the universe doesn't care about justice, but "we care" and "there is light in the world, and it is us."
Chapter 40: Pretending to be Wise, Part 2 Harry and Quirrell share absurdly expensive Chinese tea in Mary's Room while Quirrell criticizes Harry for telling Dumbledore about his conversation with Lucius Malfoy, warning that Dumbledore could kill Draco, frame Harry, and provoke Lucius to abandon his political game for revenge. Harry asks Quirrell about the afterlife, and Quirrell describes his investigations into supposed communications with the dead, dismissing devices like the Resurrection Stone as mere projections of memory. When Harry mentions Dumbledore's contradictory views on death and immortality, Quirrell turns icy and suggests Dumbledore never truly believed his own platitudes. Harry shares the symbol from his cloak (line inside circle inside triangle), hoping Quirrell might recognize the Resurrection Stone, but Quirrell says he has never seen it. As they prepare to leave, Harry asks if Quirrell believes in an afterlife, and Quirrell delivers the chilling reply: "If I did, Mr. Potter, would I still be here?"
Chapter 41: Frontal Override Harry lures Draco and Hermione into chasing him across the outside walls and icy rooftops of Hogwarts using gecko-inspired climbing gloves he taught Hermione to Transfigure the day before. When Hermione slips and nearly falls off a roof, Draco instinctively grabs her arm, then faces a split-second choice: hold on and let Harry shoot them both, or drop her (she has Feather-Falling Potion) and win the battle. He drops her and shoots Harry. The Slytherin girls' common room explodes with gossip about the "witch dropper," dubbing Draco "the heir of Slipperin" and "the next Drop Lord," which becomes the Quibbler's headline by morning. Harry later finds Hermione reading in their classroom and awkwardly tries to apologize for nearly getting her killed, offering to fall to his knees or buy her something expensive, while she silently wonders what an adequate apology would even look like.
Chapter 42: Courage Harry and Draco stage a dramatic fake fall from the Hogwarts roof as an apology to Hermione (voted on by Ravenclaw girls), but multiple girls cast Summoning Charms simultaneously to catch Harry, accidentally accelerating him toward the ground. Professor Quirrell exhausts himself knocking down two hundred students to stop whoever jinxed Harry, while Remus Lupin (temporarily teaching the Patronus Charm) catches him. Lupin later shares stories about James, Lily, and the Marauders with Harry, confirms James was briefly a bully influenced by Sirius Black, and emotionally recounts how Peter Pettigrew bravely stood by the Potters despite being the most frightened of them all. Harry guesses correctly that Black and Pettigrew were once lovers, which Lupin sadly confirms as an affair that ended in tragedy.
Chapter 43: Humanism, Part 1 First-year students practice the Patronus Charm outdoors with Remus Lupin, but Harry fails completely despite perfect wandwork, leaving him humiliated that he isn't "happy enough." He and Hermione research the spell together and learn that Godric Gryffindor himself could never cast it because he was "a good man, not a happy one." When a Dementor arrives at Hogwarts for students to practice against, Hermione attempts the charm, fails, runs screaming, and warns Harry that "the Dementor spoke to her" and that Professor Quirrell wants it to eat him. Harry tries anyway, using a memory of the stars rather than a happy thought, but the Dementor smashes through his defenses and forces him to relive his parents' murder: James telling Lily to run, Voldemort killing James, Lily begging for Harry's life, Voldemort mockingly offering to spare Harry if she drops her wand, then killing her when she tries to cast Avada Kedavra first. Harry collapses screaming, and even after Dumbledore phoenix-teleports him away, the Dementor keeps feeding on him from a distance, prompting Hermione to volunteer to face it again to remember what she saw.
Chapter 44: Humanism, Part 2 After Dementor exposure leaves Harry in a terrifyingly empty state where he coldly suggests everyone should die and mechanically spits out chocolate, Dumbledore telepathically shares his plan with Hermione to fake-kill McGonagall to shock Harry back. Hermione rejects that idea and instead kisses Harry on his chocolate-smeared lips, which snaps him out of his dark trance so effectively that he yells "I told you, no kissing!" and breaks down crying while Fawkes croons over him. Dumbledore admits he never would have expected that to actually work, while Hermione reflects that her life is officially over.
Chapter 45: Humanism, Part 3 Harry, still touched by Fawkes's calming presence, thanks Hermione for casting her Patronus to save him and then decides he must face the Dementor again despite everyone thinking he's insane. He realizes that Dementors aren't creatures of fear but rather symbols of Death itself, which explains why happy-animal Patronuses work (animals don't understand death) but failed for him. Harry casts the Patronus Charm while staring directly at the Dementor, channeling not warm fuzzy thoughts but humanity's defiant promise to colonize the stars and eventually defeat death forever, producing a blindingly bright human-shaped Patronus that completely destroys the Dementor, leaving only an empty cloak in the cage while Dumbledore, Quirrell, and the Aurors stare in shock.
Chapter 46: Humanism, Part 4 Harry destroys a Dementor with his upgraded Patronus 2.0, then shares celebratory sodas with Dumbledore and Quirrell while revealing his power source was "absolute rejection of death as the natural order." Quirrell knocks out the Aurors, offers to claim he ate the Dementor, and walks Harry back to Hogwarts while discussing hiding places for objects (volcanoes, ocean trenches, space). Meanwhile in Slytherin, Tracey blurts out the kiss news before Daphne can tell the story properly, sparking a debate about whether Hermione stole Harry's true love by kissing him first. Harry gives Hermione a sealed note with the Patronus secret, then interrogates McGonagall about the prophecy wording, deducing through cold logic that Dumbledore deliberately leaked the prophecy to Voldemort through Snape, leading to his parents' deaths.
Chapter 47: Personhood Theory Harry teaches Draco to cast the Patronus Charm using memories of Lucius holding his hand after a childhood broomstick accident, producing a glowing Blue Krait snake. Draco reveals he suspects Harry was actually Sorted into Slytherin and later redirected to Ravenclaw by Dumbledore. Harry argues that hatred of Muggleborns is poisoning Slytherin House and driving away talented students like Padma Patil. Draco shares that Dumbledore allegedly burned his mother Narcissa alive in her bedroom, which Harry counters by recalling his own mother begging Voldemort for mercy before the killing curse. They strike a bargain: Harry pledges to take Narcissa's true murderer as his enemy, and Draco agrees to help fix Slytherin's bigotry problem and acknowledge Lily Potter's death was sad. When Draco successfully recasts his Patronus afterward, Harry tests a theory about sending messages through it, and Draco discovers Harry is a Parselmouth who can talk to snakes, prompting him to declare Harry must be the true Heir of Slytherin.
Chapter 48: Utilitarian Priorities Harry skips breakfast and obsessively checks his vegetables for meat after realizing Parseltongue might grant snakes genuine intelligence, then spirals into worrying that wizards may have accidentally made chickens or even plants sentient. His internal Slytherin voice trolls him with "the end justifies the meats" while Hufflepuff screams "Cannibalism!" at every food item. In the library, Hermione tells Harry that Ron confronted her about kissing a "Dark Wizard" and threatened to quit her army, plus Padma is spreading rumors that Hermione must be faking niceness since she failed the Patronus Charm. Harry recounts how he humiliated Ron with a "your intelligence must be this high to talk to me" joke and a Quieting Charm, which Hermione says only made things worse. When Hermione asks if she can learn the true Patronus secret to prove herself, Harry refuses because the unusual appearance would reveal something strange is going on, and Hermione leaves the library after telling him to "be nicer to everyone."
Chapter 49: Prior Information Harry waits by a carriage drawn by Thestrals (skeletal winged horses visible only to those who have witnessed death) and joins Professor Quirrell for a trip outside Hogwarts. At lunch, Quirrell deduces that Harry is a Parselmouth based on Dumbledore's legal maneuvers to exonerate Hagrid using evidence about the Chamber of Secrets. Quirrell theorizes that Slytherin's Monster was created to bypass the Interdict of Merlin by passing down powerful magic verbally, and that Voldemort likely killed the creature after extracting its secrets. Quirrell then transforms into a bright green snake, revealing himself as an unregistered Animagus, and converses with Harry in Parseltongue to confirm Harry's abilities and discuss secret plans involving Harry's Time-Turner.
Chapter 50: Self-Centeredness A mysterious whispering voice (actually Harry using Time-Turner, invisibility, and Ventriloquism Charm) corners Padma Patil in a corridor and delivers a creepy lecture about how she's becoming "Slytherin gone rotten" by spreading rumors about Hermione. The voice warns Padma that hurting innocents for pleasure is true darkness and that Flitwick and McGonagall might cool toward her. Harry later helps a shaken Padma with her Herbology homework and loans her secret books. When Hermione discovers what Harry did, she screams at him that Quirrell is "sucking him into darkness" and refuses to speak to him for a week. Padma publicly defends Harry's ghost stunt anyway, Flitwick gives Harry detention but admits the intervention worked, and Harry wonders if doing things "the normal Slytherin way" would have been smarter since Hermione would never have found out.
Chapter 51: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Part 1 Harry takes a sleeping potion (bought months earlier from Fred and George to hide any nervousness) and meets Professor Quirrell at Mary's Place. Quirrell transforms into a snake and asks Harry in Parseltongue if he trusts him enough for something requiring absolute secrecy. Harry reflects that Quirrell is the only "clear-thinking" person in the wizarding world and agrees. They execute an elaborate twelve-step escape plan involving Harry's pouch, the Time-Turner, and the Cloak of Invisibility to leave Mary's Place completely unobserved. In an abandoned shop secured by thirty Charms, Quirrell reveals he wants Harry's help with something "extremely treasonous and illegal" and demands Harry commit to lying about it to everyone, including Draco, Hermione, and McGonagall. Quirrell explains that someone innocent has been tortured into serving Voldemort and now rots in Azkaban, protected only by Dementors that Harry's unique Patronus can blind. Harry guesses they're talking about someone named Black who never got a trial, but Quirrell stuns him by revealing the target is Bellatrix.
Chapter 52: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Part 2 Harry and a Polyjuiced Professor Quirrell Portkey to the stormy North Sea above Azkaban to break out Bellatrix Black, with Harry casting his Patronus to shield them from the Dementors while Quirrell shifts between snake and human form to navigate. They descend through the triangular prison's silent corridors, past locked metal doors hiding screaming prisoners, until they reach the lowest level where Harry finds Bellatrix in her cell, a skeletal figure drained of all color and life. Harry struggles to maintain his Patronus while beginning his disguise, greeting her in a cold whisper: "Hello, my dear Bella. Did you miss me?"
Chapter 53: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Part 3 Harry, disguised under the Cloak of Invisibility, pretends to be the Dark Lord possessing his body to convince the imprisoned Bellatrix Black to escape with him. He speaks in a cold, cruel whisper while Quirrell (as a snake) coaches him in Parseltongue, and Bellatrix reveals she hid Voldemort's wand under his father's tombstone. A disguised servant creates a decoy corpse using a blood-based spell, strips Bellatrix naked to dress the fake body in her clothes, then re-robes the real Bellatrix and gives her chocolate milk before they all turn invisible and leave. The chapter frames this as Quirrell's "perfect crime," noting that when Bellatrix's "corpse" is found dead the next morning, nobody will bother with an autopsy because everyone knows no one has ever escaped from Azkaban.
Chapter 54: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Part 4 Harry and Quirrell continue their escape through Azkaban with Bellatrix, who breaks down crying and begs the "Dark Lord" to kill her since she believes she's no longer useful or beautiful. Harry's fury at what the Dark Lord did to Bellatrix causes his Patronus to blaze uncontrollably bright, nearly killing him before Quirrell snaps him out of it with his doom sense. When an Auror named Bahry intercepts them, Quirrell engages in a terrifyingly one-sided duel, catching stunners with his wand and tearing through shields with foreign incantations. Quirrell attempts the Killing Curse on Bahry, but Harry's Patronus leaps in front to block it, causing both lights to vanish and triggering a magical resonance that forces Quirrell to transform into a snake. Harry tricks the weakened Bahry with a sob story about being kidnapped before stunning him, but forgets to recast his Patronus in his despair, and the Dementors alert the remaining Aurors that Bellatrix has escaped.
Chapter 55: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Part 5 Harry nearly loses himself to Dementation and almost considers killing the Auror, Professor Quirrell, and Bellatrix to cover his tracks, but fights through to recast his Patronus by remembering the stars and his rejection of death. He wakes Bellatrix and has her Memory Charm the Auror and try (unsuccessfully) to Innervate Professor Quirrell's snake form. Meanwhile, Director Amelia Bones arrives with a full DMLE response team and locks down Azkaban after discovering the roof hole. Harry passes a cell where a woman relives her worst memory on loop, screaming "please don't die," and nearly sacrifices his life force to destroy the Dementors right then, but talks himself down by reasoning this isn't the optimal place to do it. He leaves part of himself behind, swearing an oath to someday end Azkaban, while Emmeline Vance secretly sends her Patronus to alert Dumbledore.
Chapter 56: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Part 6: Constrained Optimization Harry descends through Azkaban with Bellatrix when McGonagall's Patronus cat appears demanding to know where he is, and Harry smoothly lies that he's in Mary's Place restaurant. Dumbledore arrives at Azkaban and uses his blazing silver phoenix Patronus to track Harry's Patronus, so Harry must dismiss it to avoid detection. Harry's brain threatens to escape to Tahiti if the problem gets any harder, then suggests killing Bellatrix and reviving her to hide from Dementors. Harry instead realizes his "dark side" holds his terror of death, so he mentally embraces it like a frightened child and gains the strength to face Dementors without his Patronus. He remembers that the Cloak of Invisibility can hide its wearer from Death itself, gives it to Bellatrix, and rewards himself with a cookie for solving the puzzle. Amelia Bones authorizes the Dementors to enter Azkaban and Kiss Bellatrix on sight, and a dozen of them begin their march.
Chapter 57: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Part 7: Constrained Cognition Harry, unable to use his Patronus without revealing himself, confronts a dozen Dementors in Azkaban's corridor and commands them to stop, then threatens to destroy them like he destroyed the one at Hogwarts if they don't leave. After putting Bellatrix to sleep so her fearful expectations won't control the Dementors, Harry finally gets them to retreat. Dumbledore searches the prison and looks directly into Harry's cell but somehow fails to spot him hiding under a blanket. Harry spends over an hour Transfiguring a large Muggle device (inscribed with "All right, you primitive screwheads! Listen up!") and begins a partial Transfiguration on Azkaban's wall, while the Aurors remain baffled that the Dementors have stopped answering questions about the mysterious second intruder.
Chapter 58: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Part 8 Harry cuts through Azkaban's metal wall using partial Transfiguration while internally debating whether to abort the mission, estimating a 20% chance of death. He decides to stay behind and turn himself in while letting Bellatrix and the unconscious snake-form Quirrell escape, but then Quirrell wakes up and furiously explains he never intended to kill the Auror, only subdue him. Quirrell takes his true form, improves Harry's Muggle escape device with Unbreakability Charms, doses Bellatrix with a power-restoring potion that makes steam come out of her ears, and transforms back into a snake. They blast through the hole into open air above the Dementor pit, Bellatrix casts Protego Maximus against diving Aurors, and when Azkaban's wards disable their broom's flying magic, Harry hits the ignition on the solid-fuel rocket he strapped to his Nimbus X200.
Chapter 59: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Part 9: Curiosity Harry fires up his rocket-assisted broomstick to escape Azkaban and nearly kills himself when he discovers broomsticks work on Aristotelian physics (they go where you point them) while rockets obey Newton (they keep their momentum). After a terrifying four-gravity ascent through Auror curses and Dementors, Harry escapes with Bellatrix and snake-form Quirrell, though the rocket's noise may have permanently damaged his hearing. Bellatrix, finally free of Azkaban's darkness, gazes at the sun and clouds with childlike wonder, calls them "pretty," then collapses from the Pepper-Up potion's cost. Harry Portkeys them to a foreign beach where a purple-robed healer named Dr. Camblebunker (who calls Quirrell "Jeremy") examines Bellatrix and gives her a one-in-three chance of having anything left mentally after Legilimency, Dark rituals, and ten years of Dementors. Quirrell Obliviates Bellatrix before the healer takes her away, and a stunned Harry Portkeys to a deserted Muggle warehouse before fainting. Meanwhile, Dumbledore tells Amelia he suspects someone is using a Time-Turner to send messages and fears Harry Potter may already have been kidnapped hours ago, then races off to protect Harry once they clear Azkaban's wards.
Chapter 60: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Part 10 Quirrell wakes Harry in a dark warehouse after the Azkaban breakout and delivers a bleak lecture on human nature, explaining that Azkaban exists because no politician benefits from helping prisoners and ordinary people simply do not care about suffering that does not affect them. Harry confronts Quirrell with long-suppressed questions about why he called Harry a killer on the first day of class, what causes the sense of doom between them (Quirrell says it is Harry's doom, not his), why Quirrell sometimes becomes zombie-like, and his true motive for rescuing Bellatrix (to extract lost Slytherin lore). When Quirrell demands an apology for Harry nearly killing them both, Harry coolly refuses to submit, pointing out he faced twelve Dementors to save Quirrell and was never warned that casting spells on him could be fatal. Meanwhile, Dumbledore apparates to Diagon Alley planning to go back in time to intercept Harry, but finds a note in his own handwriting saying "NO," warning him that attempting to retrieve Harry would cause a paradox. Harry asks the chapter's final question: "Why am I not like the other children my own age?"
Chapter 61: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Part 11 Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape race through the Floo to retrieve Harry from Diagon Alley after Bellatrix escapes Azkaban, only to find Harry safe but invisible under his cloak. Snape disguises himself as Harry using Polyjuice to act as bait, then stuns Professor Quirrell when Quirrell attacks him thinking he's an impostor. The three teachers debate whether Harry or Voldemort orchestrated the breakout, with Dumbledore noting Harry's new Charm could have blinded the Dementors, and McGonagall screaming when she learns Harry has a Time-Turner, Occlumency, an invisibility cloak, and friendship with the Weasley twins. Snape discovers Lesath Lestrange had begged Harry to free his parents from Azkaban, giving Harry a motive. Madam Bones reports the escape used a Muggle "rocker" (rocket), which terrifies Dumbledore into imagining a war fought with Muggle weapons. A Ministry report reveals Bellatrix used an Animagus potion to escape, which Dumbledore concludes is Voldemort's signature cunning, prompting him to announce he's reconstituting the Order of the Phoenix because the Second Wizarding War has begun.
Chapter 62: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Final McGonagall asks Harry to prove his Time-Turner alibi by delivering a coded message to Flitwick at 3 PM, then Harry sets up an elaborate chain of Slytherin students to deliver an encrypted note through Margaret Bulstrode's Time-Turner. Dumbledore summons Harry, wears formal black robes, and announces that Voldemort has returned and broken Bellatrix from Azkaban. Dumbledore uses The Lord of the Rings to explain why Harry can never leave Hogwarts again, not for Easter, not for summer, because Harry's blood is one of three things Voldemort needs. Harry prepares to leave when Fawkes suddenly flies to him and screams about the prisoners in Azkaban, triggering Harry to break down and demand why Dumbledore doesn't just free them all. Dumbledore weeps and explains political reality while Harry accuses him of torture, and when Harry storms out, Fawkes stays perched on his shoulder in silent protest against Dumbledore.
Chapter 63: The Stanford Prison Experiment, Aftermaths Harry returns to Ravenclaw with Fawkes on his shoulder, looking exhausted but warm, and sends the phoenix to Hermione, who fumbles for an answer when Fawkes questions her worthiness until she blurts out that she ran toward a Dementor to save Harry. Draco receives a mysterious note from Lucius reading "I know it was you" and passes it to Harry, who denies involvement in Bellatrix's escape. Neville announces at breakfast he will hunt down and kill Bellatrix after graduation, prompting the Gryffindors to form a queue. Lesath Lestrange kneels before Harry in tearful gratitude, pledging his life as a servant, while Harry repeatedly lies that he had nothing to do with the breakout. Snape and Mad-Eye Moody poison Tom Riddle's grave with seventeen substances including LSD and a love potion, though Moody suspects Voldemort moved the real grave years ago. Harry wanders the castle reflecting on the Milgram experiment and realizes that Hermione belongs to the heroic 3 out of 40 who refuse harmful orders, then tells Hermione he feels alone because he has lost his mentor in Professor Quirrell, though not through death but through broken trust. A note from "Santa Claus" under Harry's pillow offers him emergency escape to America via a deck of cards. Harry falls into nightmares about Azkaban and swears to destroy the prison by any means necessary.
Chapter 64: Omake Files IV, Alternate Parallels This chapter presents a collection of parody crossovers reimagining other fictional universes through a rationalist lens. Frodo challenges the Council of Elrond's plan to walk the Ring into Mordor, arguing that Sauron would obviously anticipate this, until Bilbo puts on the Ring to reveal the answer. The Pevensie children organize Narnia's armies themselves since Aslan never shows up. Twilight Sparkle attempts to invoke the "Elements of Inquiry" (honesty, investigation, formulating alternative hypotheses, creativity, analysis, and peer review) against Nightmare Moon, who blasts a pony into the sun before she can finish. Sasuke and Sakura deduce that Naruto contains the "Nine-Brains Demon Fox." Hamlet bargains with his father's ghost, refusing to avenge the murder until the ghost promises him the secret of the Philosopher's Stone to defeat death itself. Princess Jasmine snatches the lamp from Aladdin before he can waste his final wish freeing the Genie, instead wishing for immortality and increasing intelligence for all humanity. Neo questions Morpheus about the thermodynamic impossibility of using humans as batteries.
Chapter 65: Contagious Lies Harry explains to Hermione why phoenixes endorsing someone doesn't change public opinion, arguing that lies propagate and force you to attack the very rules of rational thought. McGonagall tells Harry that Hagrid has been cleared of the Chamber of Secrets murder charge and can get a new wand, but Harry coldly declines to take credit because Hagrid won't be "useful" to him. Harry then demands a thirty-hour sleep cycle so he can train more, citing Godric Gryffindor's last words to override any objection. In the infirmary, Professor Quirrell proposes an elaborate scheme: stage a fake Dark Lord return with Bellatrix playing along, let Harry publicly "defeat" him again, and convince everyone the threat is over so Harry can escape his Hogwarts confinement. Quirrell also reveals that the mysterious Portkey card from "Santa Claus" doesn't actually go to Salem but somewhere in London, and the note never explicitly promised otherwise.
Chapter 66: Self Actualization, Part 1 Harry meets Quirrell in snake form and refuses to go along with his plan to have someone impersonate the Dark Lord, deciding the scheme is too risky regardless of whether Voldemort is truly out there. Meanwhile, Hannah Abbott panics to Hermione that Neville and Harry are learning dueling from Cedric Diggory, the legendary "Super Hufflepuff" who takes all electives and once beat two seventh-years, but Hermione dismisses her fears with "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself" and vows to crush Harry's army anyway. The chapter ends with Neville, Harry, and Cedric training in Transfigured metal weights while Cedric enthuses about Harry's unconventional training methods.
Chapter 67: Self Actualization, Part 2 The three armies clash in the upper reaches of Hogwarts, where Draco secretly coordinates with Sunshine's captains to avoid fighting each other before taking on Chaos. Harry and Neville ambush the Sunshine Regiment as the "Grey Knights of Chaos" wearing chainmail under their robes, shrugging off Sleep Hexes and firing real Stunning Hexes that blast through shields. Daphne Greengrass, developing an instant crush on the suddenly cool Neville, summons a magical lightsaber and challenges him to a duel while screaming "Let's see what you got, Nevvy!" Hermione has her soldiers Hover her through the air as "Super Hermione" and fires a Stunning Hex at Harry, who dodges it, causing her to crash into a wall. Draco figures out the Chaos lieutenants are wearing metal armor when Theodore Nott hits the ground with a loud clang, and shouts to aim for their faces instead. Neville methodically takes down Sunshine's remaining soldiers while Hermione falls and gets Sleep Hexed by Harry.
Chapter 68: Self Actualization, Part 3 Hermione wakes up furious after learning that Harry and Neville defeated her entire 24-soldier army with just two Chaos Legionnaires, and Quirrell lectures all three generals about their failures before announcing he's transferring soldiers from Chaos Legion to rebalance the armies because Harry has proven himself stronger than both other generals combined. Harry chases Hermione down after she storms off crying, insisting he wasn't holding back, but she runs away feeling like she'll always be second to him. She goes to McGonagall and tells her everything about Harry changing since the phoenix incident and feeling like she's becoming just "something of Harry's," prompting McGonagall to take her to Dumbledore, who tells Hermione that Harry is a hero with a great destiny and that she should be grateful to walk in his shadow, which leaves both Hermione and McGonagall horrified. When Hermione asks if she can be a hero too, Dumbledore says only she can decide that but refuses to help, and McGonagall apologizes for bringing her there, admitting Dumbledore has forgotten what it's like to be a child. Hermione walks away alone, determined to find someone who will give her a chance to be a hero, and sees a flash of gold near the Ravenclaw tower.
Chapter 69: Self Actualization, Part 4 Hermione follows a mysterious phoenix's fiery reflections through Hogwarts corridors until she stumbles upon three Slytherin bullies tormenting a Hufflepuff boy named Mike Hopkins, and she single-handedly takes down all three older students with Sleep Hexes and a cleverly-timed Glisseo spell. At dinner, she casually tells Harry she's decided to become a hero, prompting him to choke on his food and warn her that real heroing is hard and painful, but she points out that such warnings never stopped him either. McGonagall confronts Dumbledore about manipulating Hermione into heroism by telling her she was too young, and he admits that telling would-be heroes they're too young, not destined, and that it's unpleasant is the surest way to push them forward. Meanwhile, Daphne Greengrass sits sparkling in the Slytherin common room (cursed by a sixth-year) while being mercilessly teased as the "Sparkly Unicorn Princess of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Sparklypoo," and when Hermione arrives to recruit her for heroism, Tracey Davis immediately volunteers instead, founding the Society for the Promotion of Heroic Equality for Witches.
Chapter 70: Self Actualization, Part 5 McGonagall reports to Dumbledore that S.P.H.E.W. has expanded to eight members and that Hermione is selling protest buttons enchanted by Tonks, then authorizes the girls to protest outside his office on Wednesday. Professor Sinistra shocks the purebloods by explaining how Muggle women were historically treated, and Quirrell darkly observes that witches with love potions would behave just as badly toward powerless Muggle men. Quirrell then interrogates Hermione about whether she has true ambition or is just playing games, and she answers that heroism is simply about doing what's right repeatedly even when scared. Dumbledore emerges and debates with Hermione about whether heroes can be taught or are simply born, claims he discourages everyone equally, then proves his point by telling Harry to describe how their first meeting involved setting a chicken on fire. When Susan blurts out "But that's crazy!" Dumbledore leans in close and makes a bweeble-bweeble sound with his lips before departing with a maniacal laugh. The heroines later agree they need to actually do something dangerous to prove themselves, and Parvati suggests starting with Dumbledore's forbidden third-floor corridor.
Chapter 71: Self Actualization, Part 6 The Society for the Promotion of Heroic Equality for Witches (S.P.H.E.W.) patrols Hogwarts looking for bullies to fight but finds none, leading Tracey to suggest they kidnap Harry Potter to attract adventures. Padma accidentally reveals to everyone that she thinks Harry gets his information from Salazar Slytherin's ghost, and Tracey immediately runs to tell Draco Malfoy, who pretends not to believe her but privately admits he believed every word. Daphne corners Millicent and accuses her of being a seer because she always knows gossip before it happens. Hannah admits she joined S.P.H.E.W. because she likes Neville Longbottom, prompting Hermione to attempt a feminism lecture that falls completely flat when the other girls declare "witchism" sounds more fun. Professor Snape leads seventh-year Rianne Felthorne to ancient dungeons below Hogwarts and offers her fifty Galleons for a simple task involving Hermione Granger, to be followed by a Memory Charm.
Chapter 72: Self Actualization, Part 7: Plausible Deniability Harry loans Hermione his invisibility cloak so she can spy on bullies for S.P.H.E.W., and a mysterious note under her pillow leads the heroines to ambush a seventh-year Slytherin. The trap turns out to be set for them instead, and despite Lavender charging in wearing a homemade Soldier of Gryffindor costume, the girls get thoroughly beaten until Daphne stabs the bully's shield with her Most Ancient Blade, draining all her magic to break through. At lunch, someone trips Hermione face-first into Marcus Flint's plate, but before a House war erupts, Draco Malfoy shocks everyone by helping her up and cleaning the potatoes off her face, claiming Slytherins can be cunning without being cruel. His fellow Slytherins assume it must be part of some brilliant evil scheme, while his father's owl arrives that night demanding to know what he's really doing, and Draco replies only that he is preparing for the next war.
Chapter 73: Self Actualization, Part 8: The Sacred and the Mundane S.P.H.E.W. faces their most dangerous fight yet when three senior students (including a junior Death Eater) ambush them in a corridor with Hannah as hostage. Susan Bones stuns everyone by defeating all three bullies single-handedly with advanced combat magic, including a shield charm that blocked a killing curse and spells that melted the ceiling. When the girls wake up and demand explanations, Susan flees, later revealed to have been Nymphadora Tonks using Polyjuice. Professor Flitwick arrives furious enough to accidentally set Hermione's ears on fire while yelling at her. At dinner, Harry and Hermione discuss whether they sometimes wish they were Muggles, with Harry admitting he'd wanted magic, psychic powers, and an adamantium skeleton as a kid, while Hermione notes that wizard-born students don't properly appreciate magic the way Muggle-borns do.
Chapter 74: Self Actualization, Part 9: Escalation of Conflicts Harry confronts Quirrell about his failed prediction that Slytherin wouldn't attack Hermione, and Quirrell suspects someone with influence in Slytherin is orchestrating the attacks. Harry offers S.P.H.E.W. his protection, but only Tracey Davis accepts, so Harry publicly threatens both Gryffindor and Slytherin tables on her behalf. Draco correctly predicts the bullies will want to test this claim. Forty-four students in white robes ambush the eight heroines in a corridor, overwhelming Susan's shield and stunning the hidden Snape, but Tracey performs a terrifying fake Dark ritual (complete with Lovecraftian chanting and special effects) that Harry and Quirrell choreographed, ending with all the bullies stripped naked and glued to the ceiling. Dumbledore lectures Harry about escalation and the wisdom of letting evil sometimes win, while Quirrell admits this is the first time anyone has deliberately cheered him up. In the aftermath, Tracey arrives to Potions class in a tattered black cloak, claims to be Harry's Dark bride, and pretends to eat Pansy Parkinson's soul.
Chapter 75: Self Actualization, Part 10: Responsibility After Harry's fake dark ritual terrifies bullies and covers Belka in chocolate frosting, Snape furiously orders the older Slytherins to stop their schemes. Ravenclaw upperclassmen try to give Harry dating advice while younger witches insist to Hermione that Harry covering for her proves true love. Harry and Hermione bond over how everyone thinks they're dating and walk together to hash out their conflict: Hermione wanted Harry to ask before conjuring blood under doors, while Harry argues that asking would have forced her to say no and doomed her friends. Harry explains his concept of "heroic responsibility" where you can never pass the buck to teachers, and Hermione pushes back that following rules isn't weakness. The next morning, Snape publicly disbands S.P.H.E.W., gives Hermione detention and takes 100 points from Ravenclaw while the other teachers sit silent. Professor Quirrell intervenes by awarding Hermione 100 points for doing what's right, and a shattered Hermione finally tells Harry she'll stop automatically refusing his rule-breaking ideas.
Chapter 76: Interlude with the Confessor: Sunk Costs Rianne Felthorne meets Snape in a hidden cavern for their final session before he Obliviates her memories of their arrangement, where she'd been feeding him information about bullies so he could secretly direct Hermione to confront them. Snape, unusually vulnerable, reflects on his ruined life, his failure to understand a prophecy he once overheard, and his decades-long obsession with a woman he never confessed his feelings to. When Rianne asks for a kiss before losing her memories, Snape obliges, and she realizes from his awkward technique that it was his first kiss ever. The Obliviation takes effect, leaving Rianne holding a ruby payment with no memory of why it makes her feel so sad.
Chapter 77: Self-Actualization, Part 6: Surface Appearances Harry bypasses Dumbledore's security measures and confronts him about Snape breaking their anti-bullying agreement, threatening to destroy Lord Jugson financially for targeting Hermione. Dumbledore takes Harry to his secret memorial room filled with shattered wands and photographs of those who died under his leadership, trying to teach Harry about the cost of war and violence. Harry counters with stories of Gandhi and Churchill, arguing that refusing to fight evil only lets evil win, and declares he will destroy Dementors and break the Ministry if needed because he believes darkness can be defeated. Meanwhile, Quirrell meets Snape in the Forbidden Forest and blackmails him about casting fifty-two Memory Charms to hide his role in the bullying incident, while Draco defends Millicent Bulstrode from older Slytherins and lies to a tearful Gregory Goyle about his true plans. Hermione, wearing Harry's invisibility cloak, has a failed meeting with Millicent about her mysterious "seer" source, then encounters a sinister black-cloaked figure who reveals Snape is a Death Eater and warns her that Lucius Malfoy wants to destroy her, before the figure's identity is revealed and immediately memory-charmed away, leaving Hermione facing a glowing white lady claiming to serve her "marvelous destiny."
Chapter 78: Taboo Tradeoffs, Prelude: Cheating Tracey's parents attend a mock battle alongside Lucius Malfoy, Augusta Longbottom, Amelia Bones, and other powerful figures, while Harry brews a potion from acorns that releases blinding purple sunlight (the stored energy trees used to grow), giving Chaos Legion soldiers wearing green goggles an advantage until Dragon Army copies the trick. Draco uses Colloportus charms on gloves to block hexes, but Hermione, furious and convinced he's plotting against her, defeats him in an intense duel by overpowering his Locking Charm with Alohomora, publicly humiliating the Malfoy heir. Neville crash-lands spectacularly after his broomstick gets hit, then fights Hannah and Daphne until he hesitates after kicking Hannah and gets stunned for his chivalry. Dragon Army wins the overall battle, but Draco writes Hermione a formal challenge to a secret midnight duel in the trophy room to restore his honor. The chapter ends the next morning with Aurors arriving to arrest Hermione for the attempted murder of Draco Malfoy.
Chapter 79: Taboo Tradeoffs (Part 1) Aurors arrest Hermione in the Great Hall after Draco accuses her under Veritaserum of attacking him with a Blood-Cooling Charm designed to kill him slowly enough to evade the Hogwarts wards. Harry screams that she's been False-Memory-Charmed, but the doors close before Hermione can hear him. In Dumbledore's office, Harry, McGonagall, Snape, and Dumbledore discuss the case: Quirrell saved Draco's life thanks to tracking charms he'd placed months earlier, and the court Legilimens found Hermione had been obsessing over Draco for weeks. Harry theorizes a two-stage False Memory attack and demands they investigate rather than accept the confession. Dumbledore reveals he suspects Voldemort's spirit is possessing people, having hidden something in Hogwarts that Voldemort wants for his return to full power. Dumbledore commandeers the Marauder's Map from Fred and George to search for "Tom Riddle." Meanwhile, an Auror interrogates Quirrell about his suspicious travel history and catches him in a lie about visiting Fuyuki City, demanding to know his true identity. Snape searches Hermione's dorm and burns mysterious notes signed with an "S" that had been directing her to find bullies. Harry spends all day and all six hours of his Time-Turner searching for clues, finding nothing, and ends up crying alone in the trophy room before Hermione's trial the next day.
Chapter 80: Taboo Tradeoffs, Part 2: The Horns Effect The Wizengamot convenes to try Hermione Granger for attempting to murder Draco Malfoy, with a Dementor brought in as guard despite Dumbledore's objections. Harry watches in horror as Hermione testifies under Veritaserum about false memories planted by a Memory Charm, while the Daily Prophet whips up bloodlust against the "Mad Muggleborn." Dumbledore alone speaks in Hermione's defense, reminding the assembly she is just a first-year who was beloved by students and faculty, but Lucius Malfoy demands blood debt and rallies the Wizengamot to vote for ten years in Azkaban. Harry breaks his silence to argue that Hermione was clearly framed and Lucius is playing into the plotter's hands, but Lucius furiously dismisses him, and the vote begins with the majority siding against her. As Hermione looks to Harry with desperate, pleading eyes, he plunges fully into his "dark side" searching for any strategy that could save her.
Chapter 81: Taboo Tradeoffs, Part 3 The Wizengamot votes to recognize Hermione's blood debt to House Malfoy for allegedly trying to murder Draco, so Harry counters by invoking the debt House Malfoy owes House Potter for "freeing" Lucius from the Imperius curse. Lucius demands 100,000 Galleons on top of canceling the debt, and Harry's internal voices argue furiously about whether to pay until his mouth just accepts the deal without him. Dumbledore blocks the payment as guardian of Harry's vault, so Harry threatens to destroy Azkaban entirely before Hermione arrives there, prompting Fawkes to smack Dumbledore with his wing. Lucius refuses the deal anyway, so McGonagall leaps into action and has Hermione swear a service oath to House Potter, making her legally part of Harry's house and untouchable. Harry then marches up to the Dementor, shouts "BOO!" at it, and terrifies the creature into pressing itself against the wall, causing the entire Wizengamot to realize the Boy-Who-Lived might be something far more dangerous than legend.
Chapter 82: Taboo Tradeoffs, Final Dumbledore phoenix-travels Harry and unconscious Hermione to the hospital wing, then drags Harry to the Room of Broken Wands and forces him to view a Pensieve memory of Dumbledore choosing not to pay ransom for his brother Aberforth, who Voldemort then tortured to death. Dumbledore reveals that afterward he burned Narcissa Malfoy alive to convince the Death Eaters he was done showing mercy, and accuses Harry of making everyone around him a target by paying Hermione's blood debt. Harry fires back about Dumbledore never having family, then retreats to an empty Transfiguration classroom where his inner Slytherin voice forces him to confront that he knew the economic arguments about sacred versus secular tradeoffs all along. Harry recalls his worst Dementor memory of Lily's death and realizes why she couldn't walk away from the crib, finally admitting to himself that "human beings can't live like that" when it comes to pure utilitarian calculus about the people they love.
Chapter 83: Taboo Tradeoffs, Aftermath 1 Padma Patil arrives at Transfiguration to find Harry sitting alone in deathly silence while wild rumors swirl about Hermione getting the Dementor's Kiss, being bound as Draco's slave, or the Defense Professor Polyjuicing as her. McGonagall calmly announces that Hermione is fine and resting with Madam Pomfrey, threatening to turn anyone who bothers her into glass vases and drop them. Terry Boot asks about Quirrell, who the Aurors are still detaining, and McGonagall reveals the Board of Governors will vote on whether to continue the battle games. When Kevin asks about Draco, McGonagall sadly announces that Lucius Malfoy has withdrawn his son from Hogwarts permanently.
Chapter 84: Taboo Tradeoffs, Aftermath 2 Hermione wakes in the infirmary to McGonagall offering to lock away her traumatic memories, but refuses because she remembers trying to hide her guilt after the attack. Dumbledore visits and absolves her, explaining that true evil exists and would have broken anyone, but Hermione feels nothing. Meanwhile, the Defense Professor tortures an Auror by humming a deliberately awful, anti-musical version of a lullaby for four hours until Amelia Bones personally takes over, revealing she knows Quirrell's true identity as a presumed-dead hero who vanished in 1973. Harry explains the Asch conformity experiment to Hermione and warns her that nearly everyone in Hogwarts now believes she tried to murder Draco. The Ravenclaw common room goes silent when she enters, with students deliberately looking away. Quirrell finds Hermione on a balcony and pressures her to flee to Beauxbatons, arguing that heroism is thankless and that staying near Harry puts her in danger, but she refuses to answer him, unsure whether he is genuinely concerned or the mastermind trying to separate her from Harry.
Chapter 85: Taboo Tradeoffs, Aftermath 3: Distance Harry lies on the Ravenclaw tower roof staring at the stars after saving Hermione, wrestling with whether to take Dumbledore as an enemy for possibly burning Narcissa Malfoy alive. He reflects on Knut Haukelid sinking a civilian ferry to stop the Nazi nuclear program, killing innocents including a good man who helped him, and concludes that wartime ethics are messier than comic books suggest. A phoenix appears and calls Harry to fly to Azkaban and destroy the Dementors, and Harry nearly goes, but refuses because he has "other things to do" first. The phoenix vanishes in flame. Dumbledore reveals himself, explaining that phoenixes come only once to those who would fight at any cost, that one in four survive the ordeal, and that Harry's choice may have been wise or disastrous but cannot be undone. Harry screams for the phoenix to return, but it does not. The chapter ends with Trelawney, the centaur Firenze, and others across the world waking from troubled sleep.
Chapter 86: Multiple Hypothesis Testing Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape, and Harry gather in the Headmaster's office to discuss the prophecy about Harry and Voldemort, with Harry analyzing it like a Bayesian probability problem and arguing the Dark Lord might already be dead. Mad-Eye Moody arrives via Floo and challenges Harry to land one hit on him, leading Harry to use six hours of Time-Turner loops, consult Flitwick for a blinding illusion charm and a special "Swerving Stunner" spell, and finally stun the legendary Auror by exploiting his magical eye's ability to see invisible things. Moody reveals his theory that Professor Quirrell is actually David Monroe (or an impostor who replaced Monroe after Albania), a war hero who opposed Voldemort before mysteriously vanishing. Meanwhile in the Great Hall, Gryffindor students gossip wildly about a supposed Harry-Draco-Hermione love triangle. Harry meets privately with Quirrell, who suggests Dumbledore, Snape, or even Lucius Malfoy (sacrificing his own son) as suspects for framing Hermione. McGonagall confides to Harry that Snape seems to be "noticing" the girls who stare at him now, suggesting his obsessive love for Lily may have finally broken. Snape later pulls Harry aside after Potions class and asks to hear exactly how Lily died, and Harry recounts his recovered memory of Voldemort offering Lily a chance to flee, her attempted Killing Curse, and her death in a flash of green light.
Chapter 87: Hedonic Awareness Harry brings Hermione chocolate in the library, explaining his theory that she's been avoiding him due to negative associations, and offers to give her candy every time she sees him as "positive reinforcement." Hermione has been researching wealth-building schemes to repay Harry's debt, including investigating the Philosopher's Stone, which Harry dismisses as likely mythical because no one would casually ignore the promise of immortality. When Harry admits he's been secretly teaching Draco Malfoy science since October, Hermione explodes with betrayal, screaming "You can't do science with two people at once!" The conversation spirals into catastrophe when Harry tries to address whether he's in love with her by explaining he hasn't hit puberty yet, speculating he might fall for Professor Snape in six months, and musing about evolutionary psychology and polyamory. Hermione flees the library sobbing, and a brave fifth-year Ravenclaw attempts to console Harry with "Witches! Go figure, huh?" only to be threatened with being cast into outer darkness.
Chapter 88: Time Pressure, Part 1 Filch staggers into the Great Hall covered in blood, gasping that a troll ate Mrs. Norris, prompting McGonagall to send all Professors hunting while ordering students to stay put. Harry realizes Hermione is missing and demands someone help him search, but seventh-years refuse, Hagrid blocks him, and bystander apathy reigns until Susan Bones hexes Hagrid and Ron Weasley petrifies Neville to let Harry escape. Harry grabs his three-person broomstick and finds the Weasley twins in the Entrance Hall, who frustratingly know they should be able to locate anyone in Hogwarts but cannot remember how. Harry casts his Patronus to message Hermione, and it returns with her screaming in terror, then leads Harry at breakneck speed toward wherever she is.
Chapter 89: Time Pressure, Part 2 Harry arrives on a broomstick with the Weasley twins to find Hermione lying in a pool of blood with her legs eaten to the thighs by a troll. Harry frantically applies tourniquets and an oxygenating potion while the twins battle the regenerating troll with spells that barely scratch it. One twin summons the Sorting Hat, which produces Godric Gryffindor's sword inscribed "nihil supernum," and he slices off the troll's arm before being smashed into a wall by its club. George blasts the troll with wind spells until he collapses from exhaustion. Harry levitates his Transfigured diamond into the troll's mouth, cancels the spell to expand it back into a boulder that blows the troll's head off, then jams his wand through the regenerating skull and Transfigures a cross-section of its brain into sulfuric acid. Hermione whispers "Not your fault" and dies in a burst of magic that echoes like a thousand libraries. Dumbledore arrives too late and tells Harry nothing can be done, prompting Harry to silently vow he will tear apart reality itself to bring her back. Meanwhile, Quirrell senses everything through his link with Harry and smiles at the boy's new resolve, just as Trelawney suddenly prophecies that "the one who will tear apart the very stars in heaven" has arrived and "is the end of the world."
Chapter 90: Roles, Part 1 Harry sits vigil outside the storeroom where Hermione's body is being kept after casting a Cooling Charm to preserve her, desperately thinking through every way he could have saved her. McGonagall tries to comfort him but Harry unleashes a brutal speech blaming her rigid disciplinarian policies for making students too afraid to help him when Hermione went missing, then demands she unlock his Time-Turner. After McGonagall leaves in tears, Quirrell visits and the two have a frank conversation where Harry announces his intention to bring Hermione back from death through whatever means necessary. Quirrell offers to teach Harry dangerous magic and discusses spell creation, cursed fire, and Memory Charms, but afterward warns McGonagall that Harry must be kept out of the Restricted Section "at all costs" and urges her to find any way to pull the boy back from the grief and madness he is sinking into.
Chapter 91: Roles, Part 2 Snape visits Harry at the infirmary storeroom where Hermione's body lies, confesses he was the one sending notes to Hermione about bully fights, and reveals Dumbledore has given up on Slytherin House. Harry's Muggle parents Michael and Petunia arrive at Hogwarts, and Harry drops his "little boy" act to explain the whole insane plot to them: the possibly-alive Dark Lord, the framing of Hermione, Lucius Malfoy's power, the cursed Defense Professor position, and Snape's obsession with Lily. When Michael demands to take Harry home, Harry coldly explains that Muggles have no legal standing in magical Britain and the Ministry will just Obliviate them. Harry reveals to his parents that he has a "dark side" that makes him smarter but uses up his childhood, and that he killed the troll himself. His father tries to dismiss it as puberty, but Harry insists he is "well past Ender" at this point. When Dumbledore arrives, Harry demands his parents be sent away immediately before Voldemort notices them, then takes two minutes alone with Hermione's corpse before leaving for dinner.
Chapter 92: Roles, Part 3 Harry walks the corridors invisible and grief-stricken when Lesath Lestrange intercepts him, apologizing for not volunteering to help fight the troll and asking if he should learn killing curses to better serve "his lord." Harry realizes he forgot about Lesath as a resource and his internal Slytherin voice tears into him for letting ethical qualms about having a minion cost Hermione her life. Meanwhile, Quirrell storms into McGonagall's office demanding to know Harry's mental state, warning that with Hermione gone there's no one left to check the boy's recklessness. When McGonagall reveals they've deduced he's David Monroe, Quirrell unleashes a terrifying display of raw magical power and warns her that Harry could become dangerous enough to destroy countries, urging her to do more than her "customary" efforts before it's too late.
Chapter 93: Roles, Part 4 Harry receives letters from his parents: his father reassures him that they will love him no matter what "dark side" he develops and asks him to keep them informed, while his mother simply reminds Harry he promised to come back safely. McGonagall then gives a speech in the Great Hall where she publicly apologizes to the Weasley twins, admits she tried to stamp out defiance instead of training courage, and offers her resignation as Deputy Headmistress (which Dumbledore declines). She awards Fred and George 200 points each for facing the troll, and Harry insists Susan Bones, Ron Weasley, and Neville Longbottom also deserve recognition for trying to help. McGonagall and Harry share a private moment where she hugs him and whispers that she once had a sister, while Harry sobs but internally reaffirms he will never accept Hermione's death. The chapter ends with the revelation that Hermione's body has gone missing.
Chapter 94: Roles, Part 5 Flitwick wakes Harry at dawn and Floo-transports him to Dumbledore's office, where the Headmaster reveals that Hermione's body has gone missing and the wards claim Professor Quirrell killed her. Harry subjects himself to a thorough search (including verifying his father's rock and his emergency Portkey toe-ring) to prove he didn't take the body, then interrogates Dumbledore about whether he arranged Hermione's death for financial gain. Dumbledore shares his time-travel surveillance showing the troll was indeed the killer while all of Hermione's protective items were sabotaged, leading Harry to theorize this is an elaborate frame-job designed to make them distrust the wards. Harry demands Neville be immediately evacuated from Hogwarts as the obvious next target, learns from Dumbledore that the Weasley twins are the Heir of Gryffindor after pulling the sword from the Sorting Hat, then visits Neville under his invisibility cloak to convince him that leaving school is common sense rather than cowardice while reassuring him that his six-second delay during Hermione's death was meaningless compared to everything else that went wrong.
Chapter 95: Roles, Part 6 Quirrell finds Harry walking invisibly near the Forbidden Forest and invokes a debt to force conversation about Harry's dangerous intentions. Quirrell casts his star-viewing spell one final time, surrounding them in darkness and distant galaxies while warning that Harry's plan to resurrect Hermione could threaten not just a country but the solar system itself, citing the golden Pioneer plaque he worked to preserve. The two debate whether ordinary people truly care about their loved ones or merely play the "role of friendship," with Quirrell arguing that no one would do for Harry what Harry is doing for Hermione. Harry counters that he would be honored to be the first person in the universe who truly cared, and this declaration finally convinces Quirrell, who offers to help with the resurrection project before collapsing into his zombie state and crawling back toward Hogwarts.
Chapter 96: Roles, Part 7 Remus Lupin takes Harry to Godric's Hollow, where Harry sees the statue of his parents holding baby Harry (no heroic poses, just a normal family) and visits their ruined house, still bearing the giant bite-mark from Voldemort's attack. Harry reads the messages visitors left on the memorial sign and finds them frustrating ("what people do instead of trying to make it better"). At the graveyard, Harry discovers his family's motto on his parents' headstone: "The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death," along with the Deathly Hallows symbol, and realizes the Peverell brothers started a multi-generational quest to defeat death that has now passed to him. Harry formally accepts the quest aloud, triggering mysterious Old English words to pop into his head, which neither he nor Lupin can explain. Lupin immediately Portkeys them back to Hogwarts per Dumbledore's orders, and a silver snake Patronus arrives seeking Harry in the Ravenclaw common room.
Chapter 97: Roles, Part 8 Harry receives a Patronus message from Draco and tearfully heads to his trunk, then attends a debtor's meeting at Gringotts with Lucius and Draco Malfoy (guarded by Mad-Eye Moody) to discuss the 58,203 Galleon debt. Draco confronts Harry about lying to him and using him, while Lucius demands to know who killed Hermione. Harry proposes that Lucius return the Potter fortune in exchange for an alliance, arguing that Hermione was framed and the Malfoys took the money under false pretenses. Draco figures out that Dumbledore is Harry's third suspect and builds a case that Dumbledore orchestrated everything: the framing of Hermione, the troll attack, and giving Harry the anti-troll weapon. Lucius signs Harry's pre-written contract returning the Potter wealth, promising House Malfoy will do anything for Harry if he brings proof to convict Dumbledore, while Harry negotiates that Draco will eventually take power instead of Lucius as part of a compromise to avoid civil war.
Chapter 98: Roles, Final Draco Malfoy sneaks into Daphne Greengrass's private room wearing silvery robes and scares her half to death, then casts a full corporeal Patronus (a snake) to prove he's changed and invites her to join "the Silvery Slytherins," a conspiracy of Patronus-casting Slytherins. Harry Potter goes invisible full-time and gives Fred and George a mysterious shopping list of Muggle items plus a hundred Galleons for "contingencies." At dinner, Draco and Harry publicly announce that House Malfoy has returned House Potter's money and both Houses vow vengeance on whoever killed Hermione Granger. Then Daphne, Susan Bones, Neville Longbottom, and Theodore Nott join Draco to announce six new Educational Decrees from the Board of Governors: students must travel in groups of three with an older student, nine Aurors are stationed at Hogwarts, House Points are suspended, mandatory self-defense training for everyone, no fighting outside Defense class, and Daphne becomes President of the Auxiliary Protective Special Committee reporting to her father Lord Greengrass.
Chapter 99: Roles, Aftermath Ten days after Hermione's death, the first dead unicorn is discovered in the Forbidden Forest, signaling that someone has begun hunting the creatures for their blood.
Chapter 100: Precautionary Measures (Part 1) Filch drags Draco, Tracey Davis, and two older Slytherins into the Forbidden Forest for detention with Hagrid, who wants them to help find whatever's been killing unicorns. Draco uses his mirror to put himself on ten-minute check-in with the Aurors, which saves everyone when they encounter a seething, unrecognizable dark figure feeding on a dying unicorn. The creature hisses Tracey unconscious and nearly kills Draco before Aurors and Harry arrive on broomsticks with Professor McGonagall. The creature tears through everyone's shields instantly and knocks them all unconscious except Harry, who discovers it's actually Professor Quirrell drinking unicorn blood. Quirrell explains he's dying and needed the blood to survive long enough to finish his lesson plans, then casts False Memory Charms on everyone so they'll remember Harry frightening away a mysterious dark creature.
Chapter 101: Precautionary Measures, Part 2 Harry destroys trees in the Forbidden Forest in a rage, then encounters a centaur named Firenze who philosophizes about innocence and stars before suddenly attacking him with a spear. Quirrell appears from the shadows, hits the centaur with what looks like three Killing Curses, then reveals they were actually green stunning hexes and memory-charms the centaur to forget everything. Back at the castle, the aftermath of the "horror" attack leads to a massive investigation where Filch gets sacked after Veritaserum reveals he deliberately sent Draco into the forest hoping something bad would happen. Dumbledore questions whether Harry's new "normal" of accountability is actually better, and Harry counters with a lecture on scope insensitivity, arguing that protecting a thousand students from Hagrid's blind spot matters more than Hagrid's dream of teaching Magical Creatures.
Chapter 102: Caring Harry visits a dying Professor Quirrell in the infirmary, bringing him a Transfigured unicorn he secretly obtained from the Forbidden Forest after testing that it wasn't sapient. Quirrell explains the true nature of the Horcrux spell in Parseltongue, revealing it only transfers memories (not a continuous soul) and leaves the new personality weakened. When Harry asks about other ways to cheat death, Quirrell mentions the Philosopher's Stone, warning Harry never to ask Dumbledore about it. Quirrell also poses a riddle about casting multiple Killing Curses, which Harry instantly solves: the answer is indifference, not hate. Harry leaves determined to research the Stone, while Quirrell prepares to consume the unicorn's blood in secret.
Chapter 103: Tests Daphne Greengrass watches Draco Malfoy stagger into the Slytherin common room with all the library books Hermione borrowed before her death, hoping to find mysterious clues. Millicent Bulstrode bursts in screaming that Professor Quirrell has suddenly improved enough to give first-years their surprise Ministry Defense exam in fifty minutes, sending everyone scrambling for textbooks they haven't touched since September. The exam turns out to be hilariously easy ("Why should children stay away from strange creatures?"), and Daphne defiantly writes that her Stunning Hex, Ancient Blade, and Patronus won't work against everything. Harry breezes through, noting that "Stunning Hex" answers half the questions, then writes a cheeky note to the Ministry grader about Bogeysnakes and signs it "the Boy-Who-Lived." Quirrell announces everyone passed except Hermione, whom he gives a "Dreadful" grade for failing "the only important test" she faced that year, then reveals Harry received the same EE+ grade Quirrell himself got in his first year, leaving Harry too choked up to even say thank you.
Chapter 104: The Truth, Part 1: Riddles and Answers Harry attends the final Quidditch match of the year, still waiting for answers about Hermione's killer, and unfurls a banner mocking the Snitch as Ravenclaw and Slytherin stall to rack up House Cup points. He receives a mysterious Time-Turned note telling him to help "the watcher of stars" in the forbidden corridor, where he finds Professor Snape guarding a door and Professor Quirrell collapsed nearby. Draco Malfoy and an adventuring party (including Nymphadora Tonks disguised as Susan Bones) arrive seeking the Philosopher's Stone, followed by Professor Sprout, who attacks everyone after Quirrell hints she's been Memory-Charmed. Tonks defeats Sprout with help from Harry's hidden ally Lesath Lestrange, and Quirrell begs Harry to help him reach the Stone before he dies. Harry analyzes the suspicious timing and realizes the note was forged, that Quirrell orchestrated everything, and that his mysterious "dark side" has always matched Quirrell's thinking patterns perfectly. Harry turns around to find Quirrell standing healthy with a gun pointed at him, and they greet each other: "Hello, Lord Voldemort" and "Hello, Tom Riddle."
Chapter 105: The Truth, Part 2 Professor Quirrell reveals himself as Tom Riddle (Lord Voldemort) and holds Harry at gunpoint, forcing Harry to drop his wand, Time-Turner, and pouch. Quirrell explains that he could have killed Harry at any time with a sniper rifle and that their fated battle was Dumbledore's fantasy. He demands Harry's help obtaining the Philosopher's Stone, revealing it can make Transfigurations permanent and thus enable true resurrection of Hermione. With hundreds of student hostages at stake and no real options, Harry negotiates in Parseltongue for answers about his past, a week without killings at Hogwarts, and a promise Quirrell won't turn on him. Harry reluctantly agrees to help, admitting his heart won't be fully in it, while Quirrell Obliviates the other students, puppeteers Snape's body to guard the door, and leads Harry through the forbidden corridor toward the Stone.
Chapter 106: The Truth, Part 3 Harry stumbles into Dumbledore's forbidden chamber and screams at the sight of a giant three-headed dog, while Snape stands guard at the door under the Headmaster's orders. Quirrell kills the Cerberus with Avada Kedavra, then scolds Harry for suggesting they sing it to sleep like in the Orpheus myth instead of just murdering it. Harry methodically searches the room for clues and hidden keys, annoying Quirrell, who forces him to confirm in Parseltongue that he's serious. When Harry points out someone might notice the dead dog, Quirrell reanimates it as an Inferius, and Harry realizes with horror that the centaur from the Forbidden Forest must also be dead, killed and turned into an undead puppet the same way. Harry quietly resolves that no matter what happens with Hermione's resurrection, he and Voldemort can never coexist, and begins drawing on his "dark side" skills while descending the spiral staircase of giant plant leaves toward the next chamber.
Chapter 107: The Truth, Part 4 Harry and Professor Quirrell descend through Dumbledore's obstacle course guarding the Philosopher's Stone, with Quirrell demonstrating terrifying power at every turn: acid on Devil's Snare, Fiendfyre in the shape of a blackened phoenix destroying doors and chess pieces, casual obliteration of a boggart. Harry deduces that Quirrell had broomstick enchantments cast on his bones to achieve his famous levitation ability. When they reach Snape's potions challenge, Quirrell pauses to analyze whether it's trapped, forcing Harry to contribute analysis in Parseltongue to prove he's not lying. Harry suggests the room might be designed to delay Voldemort long enough for a Dementor ambush, and Quirrell extracts a Parseltongue promise that Harry will use his power over Dementors to protect him, threatening to torture Harry's parents and kill hundreds of hostage students if Harry refuses.
Chapter 108: The Truth, Part 5: Answers and Riddles Professor Quirrell brews a potion while answering Harry's questions about Halloween 1981, revealing he intended to create Harry as a copy of himself to play against eternally, but the magic resonance destroyed his body. He explains he invented an improved Horcrux requiring murder but allowing spirit to fly freely, with over 107 anchors hidden in volcanoes, the ocean depths, and on the Pioneer 11 probe. Quirrell recounts how Perenelle seduced Baba Yaga to steal the Philosopher's Stone six centuries ago, then posed as both Nicholas Flamel and his wife. He admits creating Voldemort as a practice villain before playing the real Dark Lord, but found wizarding Britain so incompetent that his Death Eaters outnumbered defenders in every battle. Harry realizes Quirrell plans to kill him after retrieving the Stone, then desperately tries pointing out that Quirrell's blind spot for "nice strategies" cost him nine years as a disembodied spirit, since he never thought to test his Horcrux by making one for someone else. Harry begs Quirrell to just stay as Professor Quirrell forever, but Quirrell dismisses this, admitting he once freed an entire country from a Dark Wizard and felt nothing. The potion finishes, and they prepare to face the Mirror.
Chapter 109: Reflections (1) Quirrell leads Harry into the final chamber where the Mirror of Perfect Reflection stands, an artifact so ancient it may have survived Atlantis itself. Quirrell explains the Mirror's properties: it creates alternate realms, cannot be keyed to specific individuals, and supposedly has a "true moral orientation." Harry and Quirrell theorize about how Dumbledore might have set the retrieval conditions, with Harry suggesting Dumbledore would avoid simple "good intentions" rules since he knows how easily people deceive themselves. Harry proposes that Quirrell Confund himself into believing he is Dumbledore who has just defeated Voldemort. Quirrell does exactly this, and the self-Confunded "Dumbledore" gazes into the Mirror, sees his dead family, converses with his imagined brother Aberforth, and successfully retrieves the Philosopher's Stone. But the Confundus wears off a moment too late, and the real Dumbledore appears within the Mirror, greeting his old student with a grim "Hello, Tom."
Chapter 110: Reflections, Part 2 Dumbledore confronts Quirrell inside the Mirror of Erised, finally realizing that his Defense Professor has been Voldemort all along. The two trade barbs about immortality, with Voldemort revealing he killed Moaning Myrtle after Dumbledore refused to introduce him to Flamel. Dumbledore admits he allowed Snape to hear the prophecy and knowingly sacrificed James and Lily, believing they would have gone willingly. Dumbledore attempts to trap Voldemort outside Time using the Process of the Timeless, but Quirrell tears the Invisibility Cloak from Harry and vanishes under it, removing his reflection from the Mirror. Dumbledore throws aside his wand and the Elder Wand in desperation, but the trap activates and banishes Dumbledore instead, leaving Harry alone with the invisible Voldemort.
Chapter 111: Failure, Part 1 Voldemort's triumphant laughter fills the air after Dumbledore's defeat, and Harry realizes with numb horror that he was always a hostage, decades too young to play against the real Tom Riddle. They walk through the dungeon pipes beneath Hogwarts to a graveyard, where Voldemort uses his hidden blood and ancient Greek chants to regenerate his true body on a black stone altar, then transfers his spirit from Quirrell's form with the words "Fal. Tor. Pan." Harry retrieves his wand when Voldemort needs help reviving Hermione's restored but still-dead body, and casts his Patronus directly into her, sacrificing some of his own life force to restart hers. Voldemort then sacrifices a mountain troll to give Hermione regeneration powers and a unicorn to make her nearly unkillable, all while Harry secretly reattaches his pouch and wand. The Dark Lord creates a Horcrux using Roger Bacon's diary, Quirrell's death, and Hermione's body, but screams in agony when something goes wrong with his "great creation," and as Voldemort panics about two spirits unable to exist in the same world, Harry draws his gun and fires three times.
Chapter 112: Failure, Part 2 Harry's attempted gun assassination fails spectacularly when Voldemort blocks all three bullets with a wall of dirt, strips Harry naked, and reveals he'd been waiting for Harry to try killing him so a protective curse would lift. Voldemort summons the Death Eaters using a severed arm with the Dark Mark, gives Harry the diary Horcrux containing Hermione's soul along with resurrection instructions, and warns that a prophecy foretells Harry becoming a force of apocalyptic destruction. Thirty-seven Death Eaters arrive and surround the naked, shivering Boy-Who-Lived with wands trained on him, while Voldemort orders them to stun, cruciate, or curse Harry if he moves or speaks.
Chapter 113: Final Exam Voldemort gathers his thirty-seven Death Eaters in the graveyard, berating them for their decade of inaction and executing Macnair when he tries to attack. He reveals he has resurrected Hermione and killed Dumbledore, announcing plans to conquer Britain within two days. Voldemort forces Harry to swear an Unbreakable Vow not to destroy the world, using "Mr. Grim" as the trust anchor and draining "Mr. White's" magic as bonder. After the Vow takes hold, Voldemort announces his elaborate kill plan: stun Harry, sever his limbs, shoot him with a Muggle gun, hit him with multiple Killing Curses, crush his skull with a tombstone, burn the corpse with Fiendfyre, exorcise for ghosts, and guard the area for six hours. He gives Harry sixty seconds to reveal any unknown powers or watch his loved ones be tortured and sent to Azkaban.
Chapter 114: Shut Up and Do The Impossible, Part 1 Harry, facing execution by Voldemort and thirty-seven Death Eaters in the graveyard, buys time by hissing about secrets he might share while secretly Transfiguring spider-silk threads from his wand. He threatens Voldemort with a cubic millimeter of antimatter (claiming power "stronger than the process that fuels stars"), then loops the nearly invisible threads around every Death Eater's neck before Transfiguring them into razor-sharp carbon nanotubes. Harry yanks the pattern tight to decapitate all thirty-seven Death Eaters simultaneously, then hits Voldemort with Flitwick's secret Swerving Stunner before collapsing from scar pain.
Chapter 115: Shut Up and Do The Impossible, Part 2 Harry stands in the graveyard surrounded by fallen Death Eaters and debates whether to have Voldemort Crucioed into permanent insanity like Neville's parents, but decides the children's children's children wouldn't want unnecessary suffering. He casts an incredibly powerful Obliviate on Voldemort to erase his entire life except for any genuinely happy childhood memories, then Transfigures the mindwiped Dark Lord into a small emerald ring that Harry wears on his pinky finger. Harry stages the crime scene by placing Voldemort's severed hands around sleeping Hermione's throat and scattering singed robes to make it look like she killed him, puts Quirrell's wand back in his dead hand, then creates a massive explosion using a weather balloon filled with oxyacetylene and dynamite to attract attention from Hogwarts before flying away under his Invisibility Cloak.
Chapter 116: Aftermath: Something to Protect Harry's scar starts bleeding during the Quidditch Cup final, and he screams that Voldemort has returned and is killing Death Eaters in a ritual. Harry urges Hermione to follow Voldemort back and stop him, then announces she succeeded and Voldemort is destroyed. McGonagall's Patronus confirms Dumbledore is unreachable when it looks at her sadly instead of delivering the message. Flitwick flies off to retrieve Hermione from a graveyard while Harry reveals Professor Quirrell died fighting Voldemort. Harry begs McGonagall not to cancel the Quidditch match because it was "Professor Quirrell's last plot," and the Slytherins win the Quidditch Cup and House Cup at dawn as Anna watches through tears.
Chapter 117: Something to Protect: Minerva McGonagall McGonagall addresses the stunned Great Hall to deliver devastating news: Dumbledore is trapped outside Time, Voldemort is dead again (only his hands remained clutching Hermione's throat), and "Professor Quirrell" died heroically facing the Dark Lord. She announces Hermione is alive and healthy at St. Mungo's, but the worst is yet to come: thirty-seven Death Eaters were found dead, meaning many students have lost parents. Harry watches in horror as Draco's face crumbles upon hearing his father is among the dead, while Robert Jugson screams and flees the Hall. One Gryffindor cheers and gets slapped hard enough to lose teeth, earning thirty points deducted and detention. McGonagall vows to protect any students who become Hogwarts wards, then Professor Sinistra presents her the Sorting Hat in an ancient ceremony, and it proclaims her "HEADMISTRESS!" as Fawkes circles the Hall singing of loyalty before flying away.
Chapter 118: Something to Protect: Professor Quirrell Oliver Habryka, a sixth-year Gryffindor general, delivers Professor Quirrell's funeral eulogy under a clear blue sky, spinning a heroic tale where the dying professor faced Voldemort alone, somehow bringing Hermione back through his sacrifice. Harry interrupts to clarify that self-sacrifice alone cannot resurrect the dead, wanting to prevent copycats. Oliver declares the students will teach Quirrell's methods to each other, breaking the Defense curse through peer instruction rather than waiting for new professors, while Headmistress McGonagall nods approvingly. Harry privately admits he's glad Voldemort/Quirrell isn't entirely gone, the emerald on his hand glowing as he silently vows to someday teach the trapped soul how to be happy.
Chapter 119: Something to Protect: Albus Dumbledore Harry receives Dumbledore's wand (which flies into his hand, confirming he defeated Voldemort) and two letters from Dumbledore explaining that he has inherited the Line of Merlin Unbroken. Moody fake-casts Avada Kedavra at Harry to verify he's not possessed by Voldemort. Amelia Bones, head of Magical Law Enforcement, arrives expecting to be regent but learns Harry is the true heir. Harry negotiates with Bones, appointing her regent for Wizengamot matters while retaining control over Department of Mysteries affairs. Harry deduces that "Sirius Black" in Azkaban is actually Peter Pettigrew, who was Confunded by the real Sirius into taking his place using Metamorphmagus powers, leaving everyone horrified. Harry reveals he has the Philosopher's Stone and drops a five-kilo gold chunk on the table, announcing plans to heal all wizards from death and old age, build a high-security hospital at Hogwarts with Moody designing the paranoid security, and shut down Azkaban after Hermione destroys its Dementors. He nearly announces plans to end the Statute of Secrecy but physically cannot speak the words, realizing that giving six billion Muggles access to Transfiguration would inevitably destroy the world.
Chapter 120: Something to Protect: Draco Malfoy Harry visits a grief-stricken Draco and confesses everything: that Voldemort was a half-blood who never believed in blood purity, that the Death Eaters were meant to lose as part of a political scheme, and that Harry himself killed Lucius and the other Death Eaters. Harry offers Draco the choice to end their friendship or start fresh without manipulation, then has McGonagall Obliviate the conversation when Draco refuses to answer. Later, McGonagall takes Draco through the Floo to Gringotts, then travels to Sydney where she casts a memory-restoration spell on "Nancy Manson," a woman who has felt frozen and incomplete since a traffic accident stole her memories ten years ago. As her memories begin returning, she opens the door to find Draco staring at her with tears in his eyes, and whispers the name "Lucius," revealing she is Narcissa Malfoy, alive and hidden all along.
Chapter 121: Something to Protect: Severus Snape Severus Snape arrives at McGonagall's office with a packed knapsack, resigns his position as Potions Master, and recommends the next Head of Slytherin be nothing like him. Harry recognizes that Dumbledore had been using Snape, even his blindness and grief, and tells McGonagall to let him go. Snape clears the air with Harry about Lily, admitting his own mistakes pushed her away rather than one muddy field incident, confirms he went to Voldemort intending to trade the prophecy for Lily's love, and accepts Harry's offer of forgiveness. Harry advises Snape to stop ruminating on the past and try a different hair shampoo, prompting the first genuine laugh between them and a friendly "Drop dead, Potter." Snape steps into the Floo fire whispering an unknown destination, and that was the last anyone ever heard of Severus Snape.
Chapter 122: Something to Protect: Hermione Granger Harry sits on his new secret rooftop office at Hogwarts, contemplating how close he came to destroying the world and how an Unbreakable Vow was apparently necessary to stop his own stupidity. Hermione arrives from St. Mungo's, now sporting unicorn-based superpowers including super strength, speed, pearly white alicorn fingernails she cannot bite through, and an aura of purity and innocence. She thanks Harry for bringing her back, admits she was right about Quirrell being evil, and discovers Harry kept pace with her in classes by using a Time-Turner for six extra study hours daily. Harry gives Hermione the Cloak of Invisibility as her inheritance from Peverell, a personal Time-Turner, and reveals he got the Wizengamot to make "Granger" a Noble House. Hermione declares she is done thinking in terms of being a "hero" and will simply do what she can, then asks for a bazooka and Auror training. They watch the sunrise together and discuss whether they might fall in love someday, agreeing not to force patterns onto their relationship. Hermione swears an oath of friendship to Harry across their crossed wands.